Holidays used to be a time when I prepared with lists of people coming and food to prepare. Now, I first have to prepare ME.

Holidays are a time when I am aware of my missing pieces.

I miss the ones I love and I am missing a part of me.

I have learned to be kind to myself. I didn’t know how to do that during those first holidays after my losses when I was completely broken. Each year, I got through in any way I could. I did what was good for everyone else, not necessarily what was good for me.

Please take care of yourself. No one can do that for you but you.

You have been broken. Some of you are healing and some of you haven’t begun to heal. Your greatest love and joy has become your greatest loss and sorrow. You are different. Holidays can never be the same, so make them different. Find YOUR way to do it differently.

Ask yourself—

What do YOU want to do?

What don’t you want to do?

For example—

Do you want to cook? Do you want to be home? Do you want to be away? Who do you want to be with? Do you want to light candles? Do you want to buy flowers? Do you want to play music? Do you want to share stories? Do you want to speak? Do you want to be silent?

The holidays force you to confront all that’s missing, and can also be an opportunity to discover and do what comforts you.

Holding you in my heart and wishing you comfort through the holidays,