Parent Poem

In Memory of Heath Bogin

They Tell Me

 By Esther Bogin, Heath’s Mom

Songs-Pictures-Thoughts-Memorabilia-Reminders-Reminders.

They tell me “time heals everything.”

Movies – the tears – TV shows – the sobs – the quiet, alone moments.

They tell me “time helps you to deal better.”

Holidays – celebrations – birthdays – the bittersweet in my enjoyment.

They tell me “in time it will get easier.”

New memories – plans for tomorrow – family – friends – the void, the empty space.

They tell me “in time it gets deeper.”

The should-be’s – the could have been’s – the why’s – the wish to go back in time.

They tell me “time doesn’t take the pain away, it just takes longer for it to come out.”

They tell me so many words;  all with good intention;  so many words that I really don’t remember.

When they say time heals everything,  I want to ask them “how?”    How can time heal missing you?  How can time heal my wishing you were here?  How can time heal the hurt knowing that I am living without you with me?    How can time do all of that?  How can time do all of that?

Time may heal everything- just not loving you, my sweet son.

The trees are coming into leaf

Like something almost being said;

The recent buds relax and spread,

Their greenness is a kind of grief.

Is it that they are born again

And we grow old? No, they die too,

Their yearly trick of looking new

Is written down in rings of grain.

Yet still the unresting castles thresh

In fullgrown thickness every May.

Last year is dead, they seem to say,

Begin afresh, afresh, afresh.

By Philip Larkin

To honor you, I get up everyday and take a breath.

And start another day without you in it.

To honor you, I laugh and love with those who knew your smile

And the way your eyes twinkled with mischief and secret knowledge.

To honor you, I take the time to appreciate everyone I love,

I know now there is no guarantee of days or hours spent in their presence.

To honor you, I listen to music you would have liked,

And sing at the top of my lungs, with the windows rolled down.

To honor you, I take chances, say what I feel, hold nothing back,

Risk making a fool of myself, dance every dance.

You were my light, my heart, my gift of love, from the very highest source.

So everyday, I vow to make a difference, share a smile, live, laugh and love.

Now I live for us both, so all I do, I do to honor you.

Lovingly reprinted from the Bereaved Parents website, and their publication,  A JOURNEY TOGETHER

The worst nightmare is here,

Just what every parent dares to fear.

My son, my only child, no longer lives.

My son, my only child, no longer gives

Me his love, his hugs, his gentle words,

His advice and wisdom I sought and heard.

The worst nightmare is here,

Just what every parent dares to fear.

My son, my only child, no longer lives

As I make more memories for tomorrow

Always living through deep sorrow.

The worst nightmare is here,

Just what every parent dares to fear.

When I still live and my only child does not,

I must hold on to all of the joys that I got

From the moments of his life we shared

Filled with all of his loving care.

The worst nightmare is here,

Just what every parent dares to fear.

Now knowing that the life I gave to my only child

Was the most beautiful dream I lived

For too short a while.