Suggestions of What is Helpful and Not Helpful

This is taken from a brochure written by Marcia G. Scherago, M.S.W., L.C.S.W., published by Medic Publishing, and distributed by the Centering Corporation.


  1. Taking care of yourself physically.
  2. Working on your own grief
  3. Dealing with your own feelings of guilt and blame
  4. Allow surviving children their own method of grieving
  5. Getting help for your children if needed
  6. Finding healthy ways to remember your child
  7. Finding a way to spend time with the surviving children
  8. Giving your children space

Not Helpful:

  1. Using trite sayings
  2. Idealizing your dead child
  3. Comparing the dead child to surviving children
  4. Attempting to replace the dead child with the surviving children