Each year COPE hosts its annual bereavement camp for children ages 7-17. We also offer a concurrent retreat for parents and guardians, supporting the whole family, a cornerstone of Camp COPE’s magic. As we prepare for an unforgettable weekend at Camp COPE, individuals often have questions about how to support grieving teens and children in their lives. Here are a few key considerations when speaking with them.
Active listening is important. Ensure you are in an environment without distractions. A focused setting allows you to fully engage with what the child is sharing, including their body language, and provides room to explore any topics that arise. Set aside ample time for conversation—no one likes to feel rushed. Create an atmosphere where the child can share, ask questions, and conclude the discussion at their own pace.
Using simple direct language is advised, especially when speaking about death with children. Honesty is crucial. In cases where it is not age appropriate to share the whole truth, do not lie. Feel free to express your own feelings of grief, without overwhelming the conversation. Being open to discussions, sharing memories, saying the name of the person that died, expressing emotions are all ways you can display that there is safe space to talk about the death or the deceased.
Adults often worry about saying the wrong things to children or how to initiate talks. Phrases like “be strong” and “everything happens for a reason” may be comforting for you but are generally not well received by grievers. Instead, allow children to express their own beliefs and take cues from them. Words that offer support include: “Tell me about your person,” “I’m here to listen if you want to talk,” and “I know today is the anniversary—I’m thinking about you.” Children and teens may also have unique ways of remembering their person. Be open to different forms of memorialization, even if they differ from tradition.
Being in a helping role can evoke mixed reactions. Hearing difficult stories and witnessing pain can be emotionally and physically draining. An individual’s grief share may trigger and remind you of your own experience. Be mindful of your personal well-being—check in with your body’s needs and engage in self-care. The best help can be further connecting children and teens to professionals, support groups and grief camps.
COPE is here to provide resources and support. The Camp COPE camper application can be completed online: Camper Application 2025
Rashida Sanchez, MA, LMSW, FT | Community Outreach & Engagement Manager | Group Facilitator