COPE January Newsletter



Words from COPE President and Founder Lilly Julien


Dear COPE Families:


The New Year often brings a pang of sadness. January is the month of my daughter’s passing and each new year I am reminded of the years passing by without her. I think of how much I miss her and all that she is missing.


For so many years the pain felt like my only connection to her. I remember being so afraid that without the pain, she would drift further and further away from me. When eventually I reached a point where I had no room left inside me for the pain, I found a poem she’d written in one of her sketchbooks. When I read it, I felt as if she was speaking to me…


Pain can only be what you make of it.

If you give it all your power then you are giving into it.

Fight the pain and look one step beyond your hurt

And you will broaden your own self-worth.

If you love yourself enough you are worth it.

If you don’t you are not.


I knew how much I loved my daughter, but the question remained—How much did I love myself?

I had to think long and hard about my own self-worth and a life worth living.

How powerfully my daughter’s words impacted my life!


Ironically, this past month I led an art therapy program for COPE parents in my studio. Each one made a collage with a photo of their child and words and images they found in magazines. I asked the group to consider this question. If your child could speak to you, what would they say? If they could create your vision board, what would it look like?


As we begin a new year, you might ask yourself to imagine—what message would your child want to communicate to you in 2014?


Wishing you answers that bring you peace and comfort in the New Year.





COPE Healing Tip of the Month


Writing can be a helpful tool in the grieving process and often a tool for discovery.

This is an exercise I’ve done in the past that was very powerful for me.

Sit alone in a quiet place. If you like, light a candle to create a sacred space.

Write a letter to your child or sibling.

If you are so inclined, write a letter from them to you.

Write whatever comes to mind without giving it too much thought. What would they say to you?



Please Support our Organization

Please help COPE continue to provide support by making a donation. Any donation can be made in tribute to a particular child or loved one. To donate on line, please click here to visit our donation page, or you can send in a check to COPE at P.O. Box 1251, Melville, NY 11747. COPE thanks you for your support.



January COPE Calendar of Events (see details below)


January Workshops:

6          COPE Parent Support Group Meeting – South Shore (Merrick Jewish Center: 7:00pm)

6          COPE Monday Parent Support Group Meeting– North Shore (COPE House: 7:30pm)

8          COPE Suffolk County Support Group in Dix Hills (Chai Center: 7:00pm)

9          COPE Parent Support Group Meeting – North Shore (Syosset Library: 7:00pm)

10        COPE Parent Spiritual Workshop with Robert Hansen (Merrick: 6:45pm)

11        COPE Young Adult Sibling Group in NYC (Candice Goldberg’s office: 11:00am)

14        COPE NYC Parent Support Group (1177 Ave of Americas in Manhattan: 7:00pm)

14        COPE Suicide Survivors Group for Parents & Siblings (COPE House: 7:00pm)

20        COPE Long Island Young Adult Sibling Group (COPE House: 7:00pm)

21        COPE Parent Support Group Meeting – East Meadow (Temple Emanuel: 7:30pm)

22        COPE Parent Writing Workshop (COPE House: 7:00pm)

23        COPE Parent Support Group Meeting – North Shore (Jericho Library: 7:00pm)

27        COPE Monday Parent Support Group Meeting– North Shore (COPE House: 7:30pm)

30        COPE Bowling Event (Bowlmor Long Island in Melville: 7:00pm)





Just For Today


Just for today, I will try to live through the next 24 hours…not expecting to get over my child’s death, but learning to live with it…one day at a time


Just for today, I’ll remember my child’s life, not his death, and bask in the comfort of the treasured days and moments we shared.


Just for today, I will forgive all the family and friends who didn’t help or comfort me the way I needed them to. They truly did not know how.


Just for today, I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my child. For they are hurting too, and perhaps we can help each other.


Just for today, I will free myself from my self-inflicted burden of guilt. For deep in my heart, I know if there was anything in this world I could have done to save my child from death, I would have done it.


Just for today, I will honor my child’s memory by doing something with another child, be it my own, or someone else’s, because I know that would make my child proud.


Just for today, I will offer my hand in friendship to other bereaved parents, fo I DO know how they feel.


Just for today, I will smile…no matter how much I hurt on the inside…for maybe if I smile a little, my heart will soften and I will begin to heal.


Just for today, I will allow myself to be happy and enjoy myself, for I know I am not deserting my child by moving on.


Just for today, I will accept that I did NOT die when my child did. My life did go on and I am the ONLY one who can make that life worthwhile again.


~by V.Tushingham, taken from the Bereaved Parents of the USA Tampa Bay Newsletter, Sept 2001.


COPE Book Corner

For the Love of Daniel

by Ann Goffe


The Power of Love … And the Possibility of Happy Endings—Daniel was a charismatic bundle of walking contradictions. Socially anxious, widely popular, he lived with the sensitivity of an angel, and the self-destructiveness of a demon. By his early teenage years he had been diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders, ADD an alcohol dependency. By his late teens he was a high school dropout and an opiate addict. At the same time he was beloved and revered by his community of peers. To the world he bore all the trappings of failure. But to his close knit, far-flung friends he was a star and a legend; an irresistible, unforgettable, irreplaceable friend. Daniel died at age 23 from a drug overdose. For the Love of Daniel is an account of his life-a roller coaster ride of sadness and joy, heartache and solace, laughter, tears, tumult and rest. It is also a careful account of Daniel’s after life, and the chain of extraordinary events that moved the hearts and consciousness of those who grieved him. Most of all, the book is a love story, Daniel’s testament to the unalterable immense power of love, which offers even ultimate human tragedies a softer landing, the possibility of a happy ending.


To purchase the book though Centering Corporation, please click here. Please enter the coupon code “COPE” where it asks for “Input Coupon or Promotional Code”. Doing so will enable 10% of your purchases to be directed back to COPE.


If you have a book to recommend which you think will help our families along their path of healing, please email Karen Flyer at


COPE and Centering Corporation

COPE has partnered with the Centering Corporation to provide you with easy access to grief resources through our website. Centering Corporation is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing education and resources for the bereaved. With resources on adult grief, death of a child, infant loss, children’s grief, as well as a host of grief-related products, Centering Corporation’s goal is, “We give you support. We give you information. We give you hope.”


You can easily access Centering Corporations vast array of resource from the home page of COPE’s website, the left or top tool bar where is says, “Grief Resource Center”.


When checking out on the Centering Corporation’s website, COPE hopes that you will enter the coupon code “COPE” where it asks for “Input Coupon or Promotional Code”. Doing so will enable 10% of your purchases to be directed back to COPE to help fund the grief support programs we offer parents, siblings and families living with the loss of a child. COPE thanks you for your support.


COPE has published its very own Kindle book on how bereaved parents can COPE with their loss! The Kindle book, “COPING WITH THE LOSS OF A CHILD: Strategies for Living with Loss & How Friends Can Help” is available on Amazon.



Birthdays & Passings

In the month of January, we remember the following loved ones who were taken from us before their time:


1    Stacie Weiss (2003, passing), daughter of Mitch & Michelle Weiss

Mark Anthony Governale (2003 passing), son of Diana Roscigno

Samantha Kaolin (2010, passing), daughter of Mara Karolin

Alyssa Seaman (2011, passing), daughter of Mary & Donald Seaman

3    Elroy Conrad Durann III (2010, passing), son of Conrad Durann II

Kaitlin DeSanti (2011, passing), daughter of Denise Kenneally DeSanti

Nicole Nogio (2012, passing), daughter of Fredda Nogio

Alfred Speehr (2013, passing) son of Margaret Perillo

Matthew Russo (2013, passing), son of Audra & Philip Russo

4    Quenten Tromaine Favors (1973, birthday), son of Maxine McKenzie-Materowski

Omahni Jayden Omogbemi (2010, birthday), son of Christmas Morgan

Joanna Elizabeth Johnson (2012, passing), daughter of Jake Johnson & Donna Johnson

and sister of Laura Johnson

5    Allison Jamie Schwartz (1977, birthday), daughter of Christopher Ihm

Sean Lapersonerie (2012, passing), son of Marie Lapersonerie

6    Mark Yudin (1970, birthday), son of Brenda Yudin

Michael D’Amico (1977, birthday), son of Lydia D’Amico

Clarke Gilbert Russell (1986, birthday), son of Stephanie Benbenek

Bryan Herold (1990, birthday), son of Mike Herold and Diane Parziale

8    Gabriel Hilsenrad (2006, passing), son of Phyllis Silverman

Ava Hecht (2009, passing), daughter of Karen Gang and Arno Hecht, sister of Elena


Kenneth Grym (2010, passing), son of Kelly Grym

Philip Stein (2010, passing), son of Shelly & Michael Stein

Jeremy Ferrara (2012, passing), son of Karen & Robert Ferrara

Brayden Michael Smith (2011, passing), son of Tina Haynes

Robert Kevin O’Hara (1959, birthday), son of Patricia O’Hara

9    Paul David Faria (2007 passing), son of Gloria Faria

Luciano do Vale (2009, passing), brother of Lucimara Aguirre

Keith Zerlin (2011, passing), son of Dana Zerlin

Brenda Redmond (2013, passing), daughter of Doris Redmond

10  Maria Gloria Verdile (1995, birthday), daughter of Holly Verdile

11  Todd Wirtshafter (1974, birthday), brother of Lisa Robbins

Billy Highsmith (2011, passing), son of Amelia Reynolds

Marci Reller (1964, birthday), daughter of Florence Weil

Patrick Curley (2013, passing), son of MaryAnn Curley

12  Philip Starr (2010, passing), son of Michael & Shelly Starr

13  Lyla Stern (2009, passing), daughter of Howard & Donna Stern

14  Linda Bruckner (1995, passing), daughter of Marla Bruckner

Anthony Spinosa (2010, passing), son of Joseph & Carol Spinosa

15  Jacob Goodman (2009, passing), son of Nancy Goodman

16  Michael McNamara (2009, passing), son of Robert & Marie McNamara

17  Gilad Vaday (1975, birthday), son of Sara & Shalom Vaday

Keith Stock (2009, passing), son of Tracy Stock

Laura Reiter (2009, passing), daughter of Marilyn Reiter

Joshua Benedetto (201, passing), son of Lee Benedetto

19  David Berg (1992, passing), son of Judy & Richard Berg, brother of Erica Berg Gavin

Brian Harley Assa (2008, passing), son of Jerry & Sandy Assa, brother of Vanessa Assa

Stacie Weiss (1980, birthday), daughter of Mitch & Michelle Weiss

20  Mitchell Kutner (2009, passing), son of Barbara & Steve Kutner

Mary Eleni Lazarus (1975, birthday), daughter of Eleni Lazarus and Dino Lazarus, sister

of Christopher Lazarus

Drew Nugent (1993, birthday), son of Johanna Nugent and brother of Kayla Nugent

Christeen Marie Capellupo (1966, birthday), daughter of Kathleen Leonard

Daniel Gordon (2013, passing), son of Nancy Shapiro

Rachel Small (2005, passing), sister of Hannah Small

21  Gayle Ferdschneider (birthday), daughter of Roxanne Ferdschneider

Brian O’Mara (2012, passing), son of Ken & Mary O’Mara

Christeen Marie Capellupo (2013, passing), daughter of Kathleen Leonard

Barry Silverstein (2013, passing), son of Brenda Litzky

22  Jeffrey Spiegel (1989, birthday), son of Elaine Winston

Joseph Mastrangelo (1993, birthday), son of Christine & Michael Mastrangelo

Anthony Krayewski (2007, birthday), son of Danielle & Steven Krayewski

Dex Nuzzi (1990, birthday), son of Robert Nuzzi

23  Thomas Bidell (2005, passing), son of Maryanne Bidell

Kenneth Tyler (2012, passing), son of Annie Tyler

24  Giavanna Meloma (1999, birthday), daughter of Janine Meloma

Melissa Sherr (2009, passing), daughter of Rose & Mike Sherr

Shaun Brala (2011, passing), son of Lisa & John Brala

Larry Finkel (1956, birthday), son of Doris Finkel

Benjamin Weinblad (1979, birthday), son of Ann Weinblad

25  Michelle Julien (1992, passing), daughter of Lillian Julien, sister of Spencer Julien and

Greer Julien Slovin

Robert Julien (2000, passing), husband of Lillian Julien, father of Spencer and Greer

Julien Slovin

Steve Weingard (2000, passing), husband of Bonnie Weingard

Rebekah Frucht (1988, birthday), daughter of Morty & Dena Frucht and sister of Joseph


Nayyira Tahaba Amatul-Majid (1994, birthday), daughter of Kaila Loper

26  Dawn Mueller (1984, birthday), daughter of Linda Mueller

27  Jordana Arin Cooper (2010, passing), sister of Jason Cooper

Anthony Valente (2010, passing), son of Lynda Valente

28  Stefanie Silverman (1973, birthday), daughter of Rita & Barry Silverman

Ethan Max Williams (2010, passing), son of Michelle Burgess

Warren Levitt (2012, passing), son of Carole Levitt and brother of Kenneth Levitt

Christina Louise Salazar (1991, birthday), sister of Andrew Rayis

29  Dana Kraus (2009, passing), sister of Lexi Kraus

Abigail Trent (2010, passing), daughter of Amy Persaud

Victoria Riccardi (2008, birthday), daughter of Judy Riccardi

Keith Ganzer (2012, passing), son of Charlotte Ganzer

30  Pamela Posen (1968, birthday), daughter of Bonnie & Marty Gregge

Deborah Dolgin (2007, passing), daughter of Judy & Josh Gilman

Laura Reiter (1964, birthday), daughter of Marilyn Reiter

31  Alexis Lauren Harper (2012, birthday and passing), daughter of Stephani Harper

Samantha Gabbay (2010, passing), daughter of Mara Serper



COPE January Spirituality Group

Friday, January 10, 2014

7:00 – 8:30 p.m. (arrival no later than 6:45 p.m.)

With Special Guest Psychic Medium Robert Hansen

This is an RSVP Only Event and is SOLD OUT

COPE parents, please join us and special guest Psychic Medium Robert E. Hansen for a Spirituality Workshop on Friday, January 10th from 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. (arrival no later than 6:45 p.m.). Robert will be conducting a meditation and discussing how we can connect to our loved ones on our own—how we can listen for signs and interpret symbols. He will likely not be doing individual readings. This is an RSVP only event, IT IS SOLD OUT BUT YOU CAN CONTACT KAREN ABOUT BEING PUT ON A WAITING LIST. The workshop will be held at Robert Hansen’s studio in Merrick (1757 Merrick Ave., Suite 106).


Robert E. Hansen, Psychic Medium and intuitive counselor approaches his clients with insight, humor, love and compassion as he leads them toward healing and inner peace. Robert has a solid reputation for being able to communicate with those who have passed and gives messages that he says are, “Love Letters to the Living.” He didn’t recognize this gift until later on in life and has dedicated his time to developing his ability and educating himself on different aspects of spirituality. He has become one of New York’s premier Psychic Mediums. Through his “Love Never Ends” workshops, Mr. Hansen offers comfort, hope, and understanding to those who have lost family members and friends. For more information on Robert Hansen, please visit his website at


Note: this workshop replaces Lilly Julien’s monthly spirituality circle which is normally held the first Wed. of the month.


COPE Parent Column

January 2014




Please share with us your writings about your child. Email Karen Flyer at for more information.


COPE Sibling Column

January 2014


This Month’s Thoughts from Sarah Olsen


It’s 10 pm in New York City, and I sit at a nondescript bar with friends. It’s the bar that you find on every street in a place like New York: the wooden surface of the bar is scarred and the stifling dark atmosphere is somehow comforting; like a heavy blanket when you’re a child. People talk to my friends and me and by people I mostly mean men practicing their seduction with basic pleasantries: “Are you from the City?” “I live here now, but I grew up in upstate New York.” “Is that where your family is from?” “Yes.” “You have brothers and sisters?” “Yes” “How many siblings do you have?” The answer catches itself on the ridges of my teeth. The question is so simple, and yet for me there is no simple way to answer it.


At one point in my life I could clearly answer, “I am the youngest of three girls” and I would probably proceed into any number of stories about my sisters and me. But now these questions divulge the indigestible truth that my identity crisis arrived on a warm March night at 2:30 am when my father called me to say that my sister had been fatally wounded in a motorcycle accident.

When I disclose a summary to the ‘sibling question’ that contextualizes my sisters passing, the response is predictable: cringes of an ‘apology’ mixed with ‘excuse me for a moment’ and they back away. As if trauma and loss are something you can catch. The experience is something I encounter over and over again, in numerous situations. It didn’t take me long to comprehend that what I was experiencing was our society’s complete fear of and lack of knowledge about death and trauma, and how to respond when confronted with it. Though I could comprehend the emotions that took place surrounding my loss (both my own and others), they were a continuous struggle to process. The effect on me was profound. I felt isolated, misunderstood, and at times disrespected and depressed. The breaking point for me was when an acquaintance looked me in the face less than six months after my sister’s passing and said, ‘Your sister was stupid and you need to get over it.’

This was a turning point for me in the loss of my sister. Shortly after that incident, I became a part of COPE. COPE has helped me personally, professionally, and spiritually. It has helped me to listen better, and to become a better support for my family and friends. But furthermore, COPE has also helped me realize the most important way to survive is by taking care of myself. The isolation from my sisters passing that developed into frustration and depression was relieved by my time with COPE, and I have made self-care my priority. In a few short days, I am embarking on a 4 month journey in South America. It became apparent to me earlier this year that taking a step back to truly be with myself would be key to continuing my healing. I am taking this journey as a young woman looking for adventure, but I am also looking for it to be a time to continue to grow and heal. As I head towards this new segment of my life, I thank everyone at COPE. I also hope that during this busy time of year, we can all take the time to do what we need to for ourselves.



Below is a link to a wonderful resource for COPE parents for their grieving teens:


Below is a link COPE parents might find helpful, a guide to resources and referrals to prevent identity theft of deceased children.


We are actively looking for our COPE House, larger space to hold our meetings, house our resources library, and in essence, to be our “home.” If anyone has any personal connections with realtors in the area (preferably on the Nassau/Suffolk border), please email Lillian Julien at


If anyone has any news to share with the group or a poem or inspirational story (to potentially be included in a future newsletter if you wish), please email Karen Flyer at


Also, if you would like to have a picture of your child or sibling posted on the COPE website, please email me a jpeg and we will add it to the children’s page. Also, if you have any foundations for your child, we would happily list those on our website.


COPE Camp Erin

For the Latest News About COPE Camp Erin New York City!

August 2014


Dear COPE Families and Friends:

As we approach the holidays, we are reminded of all that we are thankful for. For those who have lost a loved one, the holidays can be a difficult time. I hope you will remember those children at Camp Erin NYC who have suffered a loss by giving the gift of healing- a tax deductible donation to COPE-Camp Erin NYC so that we may reach more children in need.


Our thanks to those who have joined our team in providing campers a place to love, honor and remember their loved ones. We could not help these children in need without your donations and support. The bigger the team, the bigger the difference.

To make a donation to COPE-Camp Erin NYC, please click here. You can also mail a check addressed to COPE-Camp Erin NYC to:


P.O. Box 1251

Melville, NY 11747


Happy Holidays!


Warmest regards,

Ann Fuchs

Director, COPE-Camp Erin NYC

(914) 939-5338

Camp Erin New York City, a FREE bereavement camp for children ages 6-17 dealing with a major loss, is scheduled for August 22nd – 24th, 2014, at Camp Wayne, in PA, on the New York State border. For more information on Camp Erin, volunteering, or for registration materials, please email Camp Erin New York City Camp Director Ann Fuchs at or 914-552-6919.


COPE Bowling Event

Thursday, January 30th from 7:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m.

Bowlmor Long Island (Formerly 300 Bowl) in Melville

Join us for a fun-filled, social event and important fundraiser for COPE – our third Bowling Event on Thursday, January 30th from 7:00 – 10:00 p.m. at Bowlmor Long Island (formerly 300 Long Island Bowl) in Melville, on Route 110 right off the Northern State Parkway.


$65 per person includes 3 hours of UNLIMITED bowling, shoe rental, unlimited Hors d’oeuvres, an ALL YOU CAN EAT Italian dinner buffet, soda, coffee and dessert. Sponsorship opportunities at various levels are also available (see below). Registration materials were mailed earlier this month, and registration is also available on our website by clicking here. Just enter the appropriate multiple of $65 in the donation amount, and indicate in the comments box that this is for the bowling event. All proceeds from the event will go towards funding the programs, groups and workshops upon which our families depend.


Corporate/Individual Sponsorship Opportunities*:


Tier One: $1,000. Includes entrance for 10 people (2 dedicated lanes), TV monitor signage above all lanes all night, and large, dedicated sign at the event.

Tier Two: $500. Includes entrance for 5 people (1 dedicated lane) and medium sign at the event.

Tier Three: $350. Includes entrance for 4 people and small sign at the event.


*Copy or logo required for TV and printed signs (due by December 31, 2013)


To register to bowl, or to sign up to sponsor, please return the registration form mailed out in mid- November, or go to to print out another form. To register online, please click here (enter in the “Comments” box either “bowling event attendance” or “bowling event sponsorship” or both. This designation is important so that the payment is not recorded as a general donation to COPE).


For any questions, please contact Karen Flyer at


South Shore – Parent Support Group Meeting

Merrick Jewish Center

Monday, January 6th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP

Join COPE and social worker Judy Hasnas for our South Shore Parent Support Group meeting on Monday, January 6th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP at the Merrick Jewish Center (in the LIBRARY unless otherwise noted) which is located at 225 Fox Boulevard Merrick, NY. This group meets one Monday evening of the month at this time. Judy Hasnas, LCSW, BCD, has a private practice in Bellmore, New York, and facilitated bereavement groups for parents of fire fighters who were killed on 9/11 as part of the Counseling Service Unit, FDNY.  She also worked as an independent contractor at the Steinway Child and Family Service of Howard Beach and was a social work coordinator at Bellevue Hospital Center.


For more information, please email Karen Flyer at



North Shore – Parent Support Group Meetings

Syosset and Jericho Libraries

Thursday, January 9th at 7:00 p.m. & Thursday, January 23rd at 7:00 p.m. SHARP

Join COPE for our North Shore Parent Support Group meeting on Thursday, January 9th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP at the Syosset Public Library (225 So. Oyster Bay Road). COPE will once again be joined by Marilyn Kohn, LCSW, a licensed social worker with a private practice specializing in bereavement counseling and individual and family therapy.


The second North Shore meeting will take place on Thursday, January 23rd at 7:00 p.m., facilitated by Marilyn Kohn at the Jericho Public Library in Jericho (1 Merry Lane).


For more information, please email Karen Flyer at



North Shore – Monday Night Parent Support Group Meeting

COPE House/Elias Hicks Home in Jericho

Monday, January 6th and Monday, January 27th at 7:30 p.m. SHARP

The Monday night COPE North Shore group will meet this month on Monday, January 6th and Monday, January 27th from 7:30 – 9:30 p.m. This group will also be facilitated by Marilyn Kohn, LCSW, and will be held at the COPE House in Jericho at 1740 Old Jericho Turnpike. For directions, please visit our website at or email Please do not use Mapquest or a navigation system. Any North Shore parents new to COPE should attend this support group meeting as the Thursday group is filled to capacity at this time.


For more information, please email Karen Flyer at



Suffolk County – Parent Support Group Meeting

The Chai Center in Dix Hills

Wednesday, January 8th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP

Please join COPE and social worker Denise Fields for our Parent Support Group in Suffolk County, at the Chai Center in Dix Hills (501 Vanderbilt Parkway). This group meets next on Wednesday, January 8th at 7:00 p.m. Denise has a private psychotherapy practice in Dix Hills, specializing in bereavement.  She previously was a consultant to the Huntington School district, and ran bereavement groups for the Family Service League in Huntington.  The group meets the second Wednesday evening of every month from 7:00-9:00 p.m.


For more information, please email Karen Flyer at



South Shore – East Meadow Parent Support Group

Temple Emanuel in East Meadow

Tuesday, January 21st at 7:30 p.m. SHARP

The East Meadow South Shore Parent Support Group which normally meets the third Tuesday of the month from 7:30 – 9:30 p.m. at Temple Emanu-El (the Family Room) in East Meadow (123 Merrick Avenue) will meet next on Tuesday, January 21st from 7:30 – 9:30 p.m. The group is facilitated by Ed Paley, a licensed clinical social worker for 30 years with significant experience working in the field of bereavement.


For more information, please email Karen Flyer at



COPE New York City Parent Support Group

1177 Avenue of the Americas @46th Street

Tuesday, January 14th from 7:00-9:00pm

Please join COPE and social worker Bridgette Boucher for our New York City parent support group for parents living with the loss of a child. The group meets the second Tuesday of every month at 1177 Avenue of the Americas at 46th Street floor C-2, Suite 0020 from 7:00-9:00 p.m. The group will meet next on Tuesday, January 14th. You must RSVP for this group so that your name can be put on a list for the security guard.


Bridgette is currently a family therapist working with the Sloan Kettering Cancer Center and has a private practice in New York City. She was previously a therapist for the Ackerman Institute for the Family, treating families dealing with grief, substance abuse, domestic violence, trauma and relationship problems. For more information, please email Karen Flyer at or contact Bridgette directly at You must be on an RSVP to be let upstairs in the building.



NEW New York City – COPE Support Groups

Location in Manhattan TBD

COPE plans to further expand its support into New York City with three new support groups. We are actively in the process of identifying space to hold these groups and facilitators. If you are interested in attending any of the following, please email Karen Flyer at


  1. Bereavement Support Groups for Young Widows and Widowers (Ages 49 and Under)
  2. Bereavement Support Groups for Young Siblings (Ages 5-10)
  3. Bereavement Support Groups for Teens (Ages 11-17)



New York City – Young Adult Sibling Group


Saturday, January 11th at 11:00 a.m.

Please join COPE for our young adult sibling group in Manhattan on Saturday, January 11th from 11:00 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. The group will be facilitated by licensed social worker Candice Goldberg, and will be held at her office: 215 West 88th Street, Suite 1C, New York City, 10024. Any questions, please call Candice at 212-696-7856.



Long Island – Young Adult Sibling Group

COPE House/Elias Hicks Home in Jericho

Monday, January 20th at 7:00 p.m.

Please join COPE for our young adult sibling group on Long Island on Monday, January 20th from 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. at the COPE House in Jericho. For directions, please visit our website at or email Please do not use Mapquest or a navigation system. The group will be facilitated by licensed social worker Amy Kirschenblatt who has taken over the group from Tracey Sherman. Amy is currently a social worker with North Shore Hospital System/LIJ Forest Hills Hospital PCAP. She was previously a school social worker for the New York City Board of Ed. For more information, please email Karen Flyer at



COPE Teen Sibling Group (11-17)

267 E Main Street, Ste B in Smithtown

Every Other Thursday Evening

On Hiatus

The COPE teen sibling group which normally meets bi-weekly on Thursday evenings with social worker Leslie Arent is now on hiatus. To express interest in this for upcoming sessions, please email Karen Flyer at An intake interview with the facilitator must precede starting with the group for NEW participants.




Loss of Sibling/Loss of Parent Group (For Children Ages 5-10)

COPE House/Elias Hicks Home in Jericho

On Hiatus

COPE plans to start up a general bereavement group for children ages 5-10 who have lost either a sibling or a parent.   The group will be facilitated by a licensed social worker, and will be held at the COPE House in Jericho. Even if your child participated in the young sibling group in the past, he/she is welcome to attend this group. For more information or to express interest in this group, please email Karen Flyer at   Based on interest and availability, we will determine a meeting date and time once the group has been established.



COPE Suicide Survivors Group

COPE House/Elias Hicks Home in Jericho

Tuesday, January 14th from 7:00-8:30pm

If you are a parent who has lost a child to suicide or a sibling who has lost their brother or sister to suicide, please join COPE for our Suicide Survivors Group one Tuesday of every month at 7:00 p.m. at the COPE House in Jericho. The next meeting of the group will be on Tuesday, January 14th from 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. The group is facilitated by social worker and bereaved sibling Tracey Sherman. Tracey lost her brother to suicide in 2004, and has facilitated suicide survivors groups for the Family Service League/ Joe’s Project since 2009.   This is a group for both parents and siblings. For more information, please email Karen Flyer at



COPE Art Therapy Workshop for Parents


Lilly Julien’s Studio in Huntington

Art therapy at Lilly’s will NOT BE MEETING THIS MONTH. For more information, please email Karen Flyer at


COPE Spiritual Circle

Not Meeting This Month Due to Robert Hansen Workshop on Jan 10th

Lilly Julien’s House in Huntington Station

The NEW monthly COPE Spiritual circle will NOT MEET THIS MONTH. The meetings will be hosted by COPE President and Founder Lilly Julien and author Jerry Weinstock. COPE hopes that all parents interested in spirituality as an integral part of the healing process will attend these monthly get-togethers. Some months will include guest speakers and healers. If you have any questions, please contact Lilly Julien at Since space is limited please RSVP. THE GROUP IS NOT MEETING IN JANUARY DUE TO THE ROBERT HANSEN WORKSHOP ON FRIDAY, JANUARY 10th.


Forever Family Foundation offers “Mediums and Messages” every 3rd Thursday Night of the Month at 8:00 p.m. Eastern Time (5:00 p.m. Pacific). The live call in number is toll-free 888-815-9756. For more information, please visit

Over the past few months, COPE has had many gifted facilitators and spiritual leaders who have worked with our group at these meetings. Below is their contact information for those who may be interested in working with them privately:


Paul Alexander, psychotherapist/song writer/social worker:

Christopher Allan, psychic/medium: 516-586-8121,,

Melody Bard, psychic/medium:,, 631-406-6123

Linda Cafiero, yoga, Tai-Chi Chuan, Taoist Qigong, Reiki, Buddhist meditation, mindfulness based stress reduction and life coaching:

Theresa Caputo, psychic/medium: 516-520-6420

Pam Carlton, music therapist: 516-470-3005 x3,

Glenn Dove, psychic/medium, hypnotherapist, past life regression: (516) 223-2567

Amy Elias, personal development trainer: 516-369-3171 or 516-869-3338,

Clyde Friedman, psychotherapist, past life regressionist:

Karen Garvey, psychic/medium:, 866-263-3879

Joe Giaquinto, Medium and Paranormal Investigator,,


Ghislaine Grillo, Danskinetics,, 631-262-7844,


Christine Guardiano, Spiritual Teacher and Healer, 631-673-6092,,


Kim the Happy Medium, psychic/medium:, 516-486-6158,

Karin Marcello, musician/healer, 631-220-5228,

Susan Maxwell Trumble, Guiding Light Therapies, 631-587-5208 or email

Debra Monaco, certified yoga teacher, 516-752-2133,

Donna D. Lipari, psychic/medium, 631-254-8544,

Pat Longo, energy healer and spiritual teacher:,, 516-433-5279

April Owen, massage therapist, sound healer and Reiki master: 631-470-5669

Chayl Ozkaya, Reiki Master/Teacher, EFT Meridian Tapping Practitioner, and massage Therapist, 516-532-7633

Sandy Ricciardi, psychic/medium:, 516-446-1412

Cindi Sansone-Braff, psychic/medium:,

Richard Scheinberg, psychotherapist and expert on past life regression: and, 631-666-1615

Gary Spolansky, Reiki Master, and meditation:,, 516-640-0397

Ellen Stout, Master Intuitive, Brazilian Healer, Hypnotherapist:, 631 513 0132

Judi Talit, Stress Management Educator, Certified Reiki Master and Master Meditation Teacher and Healer,, 516-248-4336

Jara Weiss, certified yoga teacher, Reiki master: Moon Goddess Adventures,, 646-734-5585

Jeffrey Wands, psychic/medium: (516) 883-5959,

Robert Wright, psychic/medium: 516-409-1055,; office# (845)447-1012, for scheduling appointments

Lynn Van Praagh, psychic/medium,


COPE Parent Writing Workshop

“Write, Talk, Read or Listen: The Power of Words in Healing”

Wednesday, January 22nd 7:00 p.m. SHARP

COPE House in Jericho

COPE parents who like to use words to describe, contain and make sense of their grief and their experiences, please join social worker and bereaved parent Sandy Wolkoff for our bi-monthly Writing Workshop for Parents. This group will meet on Wednesday, January 22nd at 7:00 p.m. at the COPE House in Jericho. For more informaiton, please email Karen Flyer at



Community Events


Please contact Karen Flyer at with any community healing events to list in our newsletter.


COPE Individual Support, or “Buddy System”

For those bereaved parents and siblings not ready for a support group, or who wish to augment their support group experience with individual support, COPE offers a “buddy system.” If you are in need of a buddy (a parent or sibling who shares your particular loss), OR if you wish to act as a buddy to a newly bereaved parent or sibling, please contact Karen Flyer at Peer support is truly at the heart of COPE!


COPE Donations


We thank the following people for making general donations to COPE during the months of (late) November and December 2013:


  • Howard Jagoda
  • Elyse Yedid
  • Janet & Tom Nolan
  • Nancy Shapiro in tribute to Daniel Ross Gordon
  • Pat & Jim Palamar
  • Paul Becht in memory of Qeb
  • Sandy & Jerry Bloomberg in appreciation of Lilly Julien for all she does to help others
  • Lisa Rubenstein
  • Karen & Alan Flyer in honor of Dr. Norman Fried
  • Rose & David Anolik
  • Lydia Barlow in honor of Philip Dietrich
  • Doreen & Chris Lynch
  • Barbara Levitt in tribute to Jay Levitt
  • Amy & Jerry Wolkis
  • Liz Barbera in memory of Jay Jimenez
  • Harriet & Bernard Shurgan in honor of Ruth Taub, mother of Terry Lieber
  • Nancy & Eric Tobias
  • Marion & Bob Closter in memory of Elizabeth Closter
  • Jerry & Sandy Assa in memory of Brian Harley Assa
  • Pamela and Jeffrey Gill
  • Vivien Abrams


COPE thanks everyone who made donations to Camp Erin during the months of (late) November and December 2013:


  • Marshall & Erica Chasen
  • Billy & Greer Slovin
  • Sarah Horner in memory of Julie Horner
  • Shari Brooks
  • Jennifer Salzman Piel in honor of Barbara Salzman
  • Brandon Associates
  • Lisa Newman Levine
  • Pamela Posen Memorial Fund Inc. in memory of Pamela Posen



If you no longer wish to receive these newsletters, please email Karen Flyer at



Karen Flyer

Executive Director, COPE

P.O. Box 1251

Melville, NY 11747

Tel: (516) 484-4993, Fax: 516-484-4885