COPE July Newsletter
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Words from COPE President and Founder Lilly Julien
This past May, Dr. Norman Fried was honored for his contribution to the grief community at our annual COPE Golf Outing. For those of you who weren’t there, I’d like to share with you his moving speech…
In her famous poem, Conversation with a Stone, Wislawa Szymborska, winner of the 1996 Nobel Prize for Literature wrote:
I knock at the stone’s front door. “It’s only me, let me come in. I want to enter your insides, have a look around, breathe my fill of you.”
“Go away,” says the stone. “I’m shut tight. I’m made of stone and must therefore keep a straight face. Go away. I don’t have the muscles to laugh.”
I knock at the stone’s front door. “It’s only me. “ I say. “Let me come in.”
“Go away,” says the stone. “There isn’t any room.”
“It’s only me,” I reply. “Let me in.”
We are parents, friends, physicians and teachers. We are children, students, and siblings. We are fellow travelers, each of us, and we live a life that demands inner-reflection, and outer action, most often manifested through the love we feel toward one another. We are governed by a Divine mandate and structured by a drive toward order. But sometimes we discover that order is the last thing we truly have in this life. Rather it is confusion, despair and uncertainty that too often seem to prevail over our days.
As a psychologist and counselor to both the physically ill and the worried well, I am struck by the paradox of living – how we go about our lives, gloriously unaware of our vulnerability, until one day, without warning, the telephone rings, a doctor enters a consulting room, or a newspaper headline calls out. And without regret for what it sweeps away, life ushers us into a new world. Wet and bewildered, we quickly learn that the person we were, the couple we were, and even the family we were only moments ago, is changed now, and forever.
How then do we survive the pain of living? How do we make sense of tragedy, sickness or suffering? And what are the lessons, if any, from this human journey upon which we have been reluctantly or willingly placed?
I suggest, that in the face of difficulty, we search for the strength that comes from “connection,” or as the COPE Foundation calls it, Connecting Our Paths Eternally. I suggest we search inward for spiritual or religious refinement, the chance for personal growth, and a connection to a higher self, a happier time, or even a Higher Power. But I also suggest that we look outward – seeking gestures of kindness, mercy and understanding from others.
Every one of us has a story to tell, and when we are fortunate enough to find the right listener, that special soul who bears witness to our story of woe and wonder, sadness and success, as do the people in COPE, we begin the healing process.
Like climbers on a circular staircase we are rising, confronting the human themes of sorrow, regret, spirituality and personal growth. And one day, if we tend to our human connections with love and honest reflection, we may come to see the world from a loftier, a heathier, and perhaps even a holier point of view.
But through it all, we must remain grateful. Grateful for the love we had, and still have. Grateful for the wisdom that living imparts; and grateful even for the lessons that in dying, our loved ones are trying to teach us.
“I knock at the stone’s front door. ‘It’s only me. Let me come in.
May we all discover our ability for inner reflection, as well as our ability for outer expressions of love and gratitude, so that we may strengthen the healing that Connection has for us all.
-Dr. Norman Fried, recipient of 2016 COPE Professional Service Award, acceptance speech
Lilly
COPE President and Founder
Ljulien5@gmail.com
To share your thoughts about this posting, please click here to visit our website and enter your comment under the LEAVE A REPLY section
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COPE Healing Tip of the Month
From COPE Clinical Director Amy Olshever, PhD, LCSW
When we think of summer we almost automatically think of vacations. But for families who have lost a child or sibling there can be dread and unfulfilled expectations associated with summer vacations. Sometimes vacations bring to mind time spent together as a family. After losing a child or children, vacations — especially the first ones after loss — may only remind us of their absence.
Some bereaved parents place a higher expectation on the vacation than can be fulfilled. You may assume that getting away from home and the stress of work might help family members talk about their loss by reliving memories together. But because we all grieve differently, other family members may be thinking that it would be good to get away from all these memories and stress, relax and forget the pain of grieving. Someone else in the family might think the vacation will give some relief from the grief work. Because everyone has their own expectations for the vacation, and they could be very different, it is important to talk about what you are expecting.
If vacations usually include trips to relatives or family camps, seeing everyone after your loss can be bittersweet. Memories as well as remembrances of what you’d planned for your child to do with others flood your mind. Some people will want to talk about your child or sibling, while others may be cautious to say their name. If you want to talk about your child, don’t wait for others to bring up his/her name they’re uncertain if you’re comfortable talking about them so are waiting for you to make the first move.
It may be difficult to find the enthusiasm and energy needed to plan a vacation. For others, the fear of coming home may cause stress. Taking a block of time, perhaps a week or two, might be helpful but for some people, short day trips might be more suited to the different grieving styles of family members.
Some bereaved parents experience fear of going too far from home or fear of being too far away from the mementos that remind them of their precious child. Various fears (some irrational), may make thoughts of a vacation too painful to consider. In such a case, it would be good to try to define these fears. Just realizing what the fear pertains to helps you deal with it. If fear seems to be a problem with any member of the family, it would be good to make a list of what things they are fearful of happening, then calmly discuss these fears in a support group, with a therapist or a good friend.
Many recently bereaved people find that too much free time allows more time for painful remembrances than they welcome, so it’s important to be flexible and willing to change plans midway through the vacation if it’s agreeable with the majority of the family.
Remember grief depletes your energy levels so you may tire more quickly. Take this into consideration when planning reasonable distances to be driven daily. Bereaved people need exercise but if you’re planning to hike or do other strenuous exercise, don’t forget your energy levels are not the same as they were before your child’s death. Exhaustion and disappointment with your capabilities (thus frustration) will come much sooner than it previously did.
Whether you leave town or stay home, remember working through grief is the hardest work you’ll ever do. Be kind to yourself as it’s physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. Allow yourself the time to re-energize your own depleted reserves.
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Please Support our Organization
Please help COPE continue to provide support by making a donation. Any donation can be made in tribute to a particular child or loved one. To donate on line, please click here to visit our donation page www.copefoundation.org, or you can send in a check to COPE at P.O. Box 1251, Melville, NY 11747. COPE thanks you for your support.
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July COPE Calendar of Events (see details below)
July Support Groups:
5 Tuesday: DAYTIME Parent Support Group – East Meadow (COPE House, 1pm)
11 Monday Night Parent Support Group for Parents New to COPE – East Meadow
(COPE House, 7:00pm)
11 Monday: South Shore Parent Support Group – Merrick (Merrick Jewish Center, 7pm)
12 Grandparent Support Group – East Meadow (COPE House, 6:30pm)
13 Wednesday: Western Suffolk County Parent Support Group – Dix Hills
(Chai Center, 7:00pm)
14 Thursday: Teen Grief Support Group – East Meadow (COPE House, 7:00pm)
14 Thursday: North Shore Parent Support Group for Established Parents – Syosset (Syosset Public Library, 7:00pm)
18 Monday: Parent Support Group Meeting – East Meadow (COPE House, 7:30pm)
19 Tuesday: Long Island Adult Sibling Group – East Meadow (COPE House, 7:00pm)
20 Monday: Creative Writing Workshop – East Meadow (COPE House, 6:30pm)
21 Thursday: North Shore Parent Support Group for Parents New to COPE – Jericho
(Jericho Public Library, 7:00pm)
22 Friday: Central Suffolk County Parent Support Group – Ronkonkoma
(United Methodist Church, 7:00pm)
28 Thursday: Integrative Healing Workshop: Restoring Peace of Mind Without Medication
East Meadow (COPE House, 7:00pm)
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Poem
As far as I can see, grief will never truly end. It may become softer over time, more gentle, and some days will feel sharp. But grief will last as long as love does—forever. It’s simply the way the absence of your loved one manifests in your heart. A deep longing, accompanied by the deepest love. Some days, the heavy fog may return, and the next day, it may recede, once again. It’s all an ebb and flow, a constant dance of sorrow and joy, pain and sweet love.
SCRIBBLES AND CRUMBS
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COPE Book Corner
Grieving Mindfully
– Sameet Kumar, PhD
Grief is a personal journey, never the same for any two people and as unique as your life and your relationships. Although loss is an inevitable part of life, how you approach this fact can make the difference between meaningless pain and the manifestation of understanding and wisdom. This book describes a mindful approach to dealing with grief that can help you make that difference.
By walking this mindful path, you will discover that you are capable of transforming and healing the grief you carry and finding the spiritual and emotional resilience you need to move through this challenging time. These mindfulness practices, explained here in simple and practical language, will help you bear your time of grief. But they will do more than that, too. They will guide you to a life more fully lived, with more meaning. These simple practices will help you experience what richness comes from asking deeper questions about loss and about life.
If you have a book to recommend which you think will help our families along their path of healing, please email Stacey at scareri@copefoundation.com.
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COPE and Centering Corporation
COPE has partnered with the Centering Corporation to provide you with easy access to grief resources through our website. Centering Corporation is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing education and resources for the bereaved. With resources on adult grief, death of a child, infant loss, children’s grief, as well as a host of grief-related products, Centering Corporation’s goal is, “We give you support. We give you information. We give you hope.”
You can easily access Centering Corporations vast array of resource from the home page of COPE’s website, the left or top tool bar where is says, “Grief Resource Center”.
When checking out on the Centering Corporation’s website, COPE hopes that you will enter the coupon code “COPE” where it asks for “Input Coupon or Promotional Code”. Doing so will enable 10% of your purchases to be directed back to COPE to help fund the grief support programs we offer parents, siblings and families living with the loss of a child. COPE thanks you for your support.
COPE has published its very own Kindle book on how bereaved parents can COPE with their loss! The Kindle book, “COPING WITH THE LOSS OF A CHILD: Strategies for Living with Loss & How Friends Can Help” is available on Amazon.
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Birthdays & Passings
In the month of July, we remember the following loved ones who were taken from us before their time:
- Harley Bruce Dornan, Jr. (“Dub”) (2005, birthday), son of Harley Jesse & Codi Dornan
Jennifer Taylor Bell (2009, passing), daughter of Jane & Jonathan Bell
Naomi Popper (2009, passing), daughter of Alex & Ronnie Popper
Frank Berin (2010, passing), son of Diane Berin
Samantha Karolin (1988, birthday), daughter of Mara Karolin
Thomas Urraro (2011, passing), son of Linda Amodio
Christopher Procci (2012, passing), brother of Kim Procci
Paul Purcaro (1989, birthday), son of Josephine Pucaro
Michelle Nourmand (2014, passing), daughter of Simin Nourmand and sister of
Joseph Nourmand
2 Ariella Weiss (2007, passing), daughter of Annette & Robert Weiss
Beth Adams (birthday), daughter of Becky Garduno
Jared Kalensky (1979, birthday), brother of Jana Diamond
Bryan Enczelewski (1969, birthday), brother of Heather Enczelewski
3 Shana Kay (2005, passing), daughter of Jane & Randy Kay
Melissa Sue Bakker (1987, birthday), daughter of Donna Bakker
Gina Memoli (2015, passing), daughter of Barbara & Mike Memoli
4 Victoria Gaines (2012, passing), daughter of Paul Gaines
Corey Govier (1988, birthday), son of Debbie Govier
Stacey Beth Kessler (1979, birthday), daughter of Ronnie & Ira Kessler
5 Jeffrey Goldstein (1998, passing), son of Sharon Cutler
Michael Mulhall (2010, passing), son of Peggy Mulhall
Gabriel Pierro (2015, passing), son of Fabian Perro
6 Christopher Simpson (1977, birthday), son of Kathy & Kenny Prisco
Robert Carpinelli (1990, birthday), son of Linda Carpinelli
Nicholas Dempsey (1997, birthday), son of Jennifer Dempsey
Victoria Gaines (2004, birthday), daughter of Paul Gaines
Nathan Allyn Sherman (1982, birthday), son of Deborah Sherman
Heath Bogin (1976, birthday), son of Esther Bogin, son of Jerry Bogin
Chloe Weil (2014, passing), daughter of Dina Weil
7 Phoenix Anderson (2005, passing), son of Linda Anderson
Brian Pupke (2011, passing), son of Rob & Heather Pupke
Hunter Wolfe (2011, passing), son of Tony Wolfe
Louie Manzella (2011, passing), son of Nancy Manzella
Rhonda (Reeva) Levine (2013, passing), daughter of Carole Levine
Jeff Reczkowski (1965, birthday), brother of Rita O’Neill
8 Steven Kovacs (2009 passing), son Elaine & Wayne Kovacs
Luciano do Vale (1984, birthday), brother of Lucimara Aguirre
Dana Solomon (2010, passing), son of Giovannina Leto
Andrew Weiner (1969, birthday), brother of Leslie Glick
Michael Klinofsky (2015 passing), son of Jill Klinofsky
9 Keith Costigan (1971, birthday), son of Kathie Costigan
Gabrielle Azzarelli (1992, birthday), daughter of Camille Azzarelli
Anna Finkelstein (2009, passing), sister of Katherine Finkelstein
Michael Litchford (2011, passing), brother of Mollie Vigardt
Maureen Brack (2013, passing), daughter of Anne Brack
Samantha Blacharski (2015, passing), daughter of Nancy Blacharski
Kevin Naccary (2009, passing), brother of Meredith Van Schuyler
10 Susan Schlanger (2009, passing), daughter of Selma Kaplan
Robert Julian White (2008, passing), son of Cassandra King
Eric Strauss (2011, passing), son of David Strauss
Michael Salerno (2014, passing), son of Patricia Salerno
11 Mitchell Bauman (2005, passing), son of Pearl & Leo Bauman
Wayne Lipinski (2010, passing), son of Sue Lipinski
Patrick Curley (1972, birthday), son of MaryAnn Curley
Joshua Levi (1979, birthday), son of Suzanne Levi
Frederick Drey Meine (1993, birthday), son of Denise Meine-Graham
Patrick Joseph Carney, Jr. (1969, birthday), son of Dora Carney
Paul Jacobson (2015, passing), son of Diane Parini
12 Cliff Leslie (1970, birthday), son of Yvonne Leslie and brother of Jamy Leslie and
Jacob Leslie
Kevin Gilday (1956, birthday), son of Eileen Gilday and brother of Kathleen Harten
Victoria Lamorta-Baumann (2009, passing), daughter of Jean Germano
13 Nicole Montalbano (2007, passing), daughter of Carol and Nick Montalbano
Jaclyn Scarabino (2012, passing), daughter of Diane & Robert Scarabino,
sister of Michael and Ricky Scarabino
Gwyn Sullivan (1973, birthday), daughter of Joan Marlow
Genovieve Soumia (2013, passing), daughter of Ann Rickmeyer
Harriet Patronis (1964, birthday), daughter of Despina Koukoulas
Adam Pomper (1993, birthday), son of Bruce Pomper
14 Adam Spizz (1986, passing), son of Marika Spizz, son of Alex Spizz,
brother of Jack & Kim Spizz
15 Hope Freed (1959, birthday), daughter of Harriet Shurgan
Monica Valencia (1976, birthday), sister of Julianna Valencia
Diane Laraine Gordon (1979, passing), sister of Laraine Gordon
16 Jennifer Jimenez (1987, birthday), sister of Julianne Jimenez
Abigail Trent (1990, birthday), daughter of Amy Persaud
Michael Bloomberg (2013, passing), son of Sandi & Jerry Bloomberg
17 Jane Golodner (1964, birthday), daughter of Judy Golodner
Jordyn Fisher (2011, passing), daughter of Beth & Dick Fisher
Kelly Burton (1985, birthday), daughter of Cathy Burton
Nathan Allyn Sherman (2003, passing), son of Deborah Sherman
18 Marci Reller (2009, passing), daughter of Florence Weil
Jason DaCorta (2011, passing), son of Joan DaCorta
Domenic Amodeo (1988, birthday), son of Jayne & Howie Goldberg
19 Michael DiMaria (1987, birthday), son of Patti & Joseph DiMaria and
brother of Jennifer DiMaria
Russell Ciolli (1972, birthday), son of Gloria & Bruce Ciolli
Scott Lundgren (2011, passing), son of Anna & Ronald Lundgren
Uzziah Taylor (1993, birthday), son of Audrey Taylor
Brendon Redmond (1989, birthday), son of Dori Redmond
Victor Orlando Woolson (1993, birthday), son of Teresa Woolson
Justin Kostoff (2013, passing), son of Lisa Alter
John Sopack (1975, birthday), son of Roseanna & John Sopack
20 Anthony Maletta (1969, birthday), son of Eleanor DeFalco
Sonia Dubey (2010, passing), daughter of G and Mariam Dubey
Allison Jamie Schwartz (2010, passing), daughter of Christopher Ihm
Tyler Pine (2011, passing), son of Kathy & Craig Pine
Nicholas Ferrante (1992, birthday), son of Jayne & Enrico Ferrante
Kendra Bowers (1994, birthday), sister of Kayla Bowers
Kaitlyn Dougherty (2013, passing), daughter of Denise Dougherty
Walter Allen Hardy, III (1984, birthday), son of Delores Mower
21 Jason Levine (2010, passing), son of Shelly Balanoff
Nikki Kontor (2010, passing), daughter of Joann Lombardi
Aidan Seeger (2004, birthday), son of Elisa Seeger
22 Cindy Berhmann-Veeder (2008, passing), daughter of Sheila Berhmann
Shaun Singh (2014, passing), son of Renoka Singh
Amanda Henderson (2015, passing), daughter of Denise Henderson,
sister of Jeanna Henderson
23 Seth Fink (1974, birthday), son of Arlene Orth
Allison Morales (2004, passing), daughter of Marsha Calderon
Justin Kostoff (1992, birthday), son of Lisa Alter
24 Sydney Gross (2009, passing), daughter of Lori Duckstein
Rishi Prasad (1984, birthday), son of Diana Allie
Barry Silverstein (1968, birthday), son of Brenda Litzky
25 Eric Perrin (1979, birthday), son of Barbara & Steve Perrin
Eric Licursi (1985, birthday), son of Donna Licursi and brother of Lorraine Licursi
Matthew Ravner (1988, birthday), son of Louise & Jody Ravner
Billy Garfield (1978, birthday), son of Roberta & Richie Garfield
Nicholas Maniscalco (2014, passing), son of Deborah Gibson
Brendon Bittner (1980, birthday), brother of Jessica Markus
Caroline Swift (2014, passing), daughter of Freddie Swift
26 Ariella Weiss (2005, birthday), daughter of Annette & Robert Weiss
JoAnna Falbo (1983, birthday), sister of Juliana Falbo
Adam Oberlander (2015, passing), son of Carol & Norman Oberlander
27 Gilad Vaday (2000, passing), son of Sara & Shalom Vaday
Mikeala Tick (2013, passing), son of Jeffrey Tick
28 Robert Egan (2014, passing), son of Carla Egan
Michael Zombeck (1984, birthday), brother of Ricci Zombeck
29 Vanessa Borg (1982, birthday), daughter of Alice & Michael Borg
Howard Safir (2006, passing), son of Lucy & Fred Safir
30 Mike Yedid (1990, birthday), son of Elyse & Robert Yedid,
brother of David & Alan Yedid
Tony Del Rio (1966, birthday), son of Linda Marino
31 Vanessa Borg (2006, passing), daughter of Alice & Michael Borg
Tyler Heelan (1990, birthday), son of Leslie Heelan
Peter Fedden (2013, passing), brother of Jaimee Lee Fedden
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COPE Parent Column
July 2016
To share your thoughts about this posting, please click here to visit our website and enter your comment under the LEAVE A REPLY section.
Please share with us your writings about your child. Email Stacey at scareri@copefoundation.com for more information.
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COPE Sibling Column
July 2016
Please share with us your writings about your sibling. Email Stacey at scareri@copefoundation.com for more information.
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COPE News
If anyone has any news to share with the group or a poem or inspirational story (to potentially be included in a future newsletter if you wish), please email Stacey at scareri@copefoundation.org.
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Camp Erin® NYC – COPE Foundation
For the Latest News About COPE Camp Erin New York City!
August 26 – 28, 2016
We have officially kicked into high hear, interviewing campers and organizing staff, supplies, and curriculum. We are so excited for our 5th summer at Camp Erin NYC – a weekend of hope and healing.
Children often grieve in different ways. At camp we offer many different outlets for them to express their feelings – through conversation, art, music, or activity. This year we are making drums so they can have their own instrument to play at drumming. In addition, they will be able to take them home and use them as a tool in their grief journey and remind them of their experience at Camp Erin NYC.
We depend on the kindness and generosity of our communities, families, friends, and corporations to help provide the funds and supplies necessary for camp. We are collecting rolls of colorful and decorative duck tape to be used at camp this year for their drums. If you would like to donate any new or leftover rolls of tape from your kids craft boxes, we would be most appreciative! Please contact Ann: 914-939-5338 or email afuchs@copefoundation.com to set up a drop off.
For more information on Camp Erin, volunteering, or for registration materials, please email COPE-Camp Erin New York City Camp Director Ann Fuchs at afuchs@copefoundation.com or 914-552-6919.
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Monday Night South Shore Parent Support – Merrick
Merrick Jewish Center
Monday, July 11th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP
Join COPE and social worker Judy Hasnas for our South Shore Parent Support Group meeting on Monday, July 11th from 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. SHARP at the Merrick Jewish Center (in the LIBRARY unless otherwise noted) which is located at 225 Fox Boulevard Merrick, NY. This group meets one Monday evening of the month at this time. Judy Hasnas, LCSW, BCD, has a private practice in Bellmore, New York, and facilitated bereavement groups for parents of fire fighters who were killed on 9/11 as part of the Counseling Service Unit, FDNY. She also worked as an independent contractor at the Steinway Child and Family Service of Howard Beach and was a social work coordinator at Bellevue Hospital Center.
For more information, please email Stacey at scareri@copefoundation.com.
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Monday Night Parent Support Group for Parents New to COPE – East Meadow
COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)
Monday, July 11th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP
The Monday night COPE North Shore group for parents NEW TO COPE will meet this month on Monday, July 11th from 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. This group will be facilitated by Marilyn Kohn, LCSW, and will be held at the COPE House in Eisenhower Park, East Meadow NY at Field 6A. For directions, please visit our website at www.copefoundation.org or email scareri@copefoundation.com.
For more information, please email Stacey at scareri@copefoundation.com.
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Tuesday DAYTIME Parent Support Group – East Meadow
COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)
Tuesday, July 5th at 1:00 p.m. SHARP
The NEW DAYTIME Parent Support Group which normally meets the first Tuesday of the month at the COPE House at Eisenhower Park (Field 6A) in East Meadow will meet next on Tuesday, July 5th from 1:00 – 2:30 p.m. The group is facilitated by licensed social worker Janet Zimmerman. Janet is currently in private practice as a psychotherapist. She previously ran bereavement groups for the Mid-Island JCC and has been a social worker for almost 40 years. For more information or to express your interest, please contact Amy Olshever, COPE Clinical Director, at 516-418-6606.
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Wednesday Night Western Suffolk County Parent Support Group – Dix Hills
The Chai Center in Dix Hills
Wednesday, July 13th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP
Please join COPE and social worker Denise Fields for our Parent Support Group in Suffolk County, at the Chai Center in Dix Hills (501 Vanderbilt Parkway). This group meets next on Wednesday, July 13th from 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. Denise has a private psychotherapy practice in Dix Hills, specializing in bereavement. She previously was a consultant to the Huntington School district, and ran bereavement groups for the Family Service League in Huntington. The group normally meets the second Wednesday evening of every month from 7:00-8:30 p.m.
For more information, please email Stacey at scareri@copefoundation.com.
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Monday Night Parent Support Group – East Meadow
COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)
Monday, July 18th at 7:30 p.m. SHARP
The Monday night COPE North Shore group will meet this month on Monday, July 18th from 7:30 – 9:00 p.m. This group will be facilitated by Marilyn Kohn, LCSW, and will be held at the COPE House in Eisenhower Park, East Meadow NY at Field 6A. For directions, please visit our website at www.copefoundation.org or email scareri@copefoundation.com. This group is for parents who have been part of COPE. New to COPE parents should plan on attending the other Monday night meeting on July 11th.
For more information, please email Stacey at scareri@copefoundation.com.
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Thursday Night North Shore Parent Support Group for Established Parents – Syosset
Syosset Library
Thursday, July 14th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP
Join COPE for our Two-Year Plus North Shore Parent Support Group meeting on Thursday, July 14th at 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. SHARP at the Syosset Public Library (225 So. Oyster Bay Road).
COPE will once again be joined by Marilyn Kohn, LCSW, a licensed social worker with a private practice specializing in bereavement counseling and individual and family therapy. This is a group intended for parents whose loss occurred over two years ago. Newly bereaved parents should feel free to attend one of COPE’s other support groups.
The second group, at the Jericho Public Library in Jericho (1 Merry Lane) is now for parents new to COPE.
For more information, please email Stacey at scareri@copefoundation.com.
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Thursday Night North Shore Parent Support Group for Parents New to COPE – Jericho
Jericho Library
Thursday, July 21st at 7:00 p.m. SHARP
Parents NEW TO COPE, please join us for our North Shore Parent Support Group meeting on Thursday, July 21st from 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. SHARP at the Jericho Public Library (1 Merry Lane in Jericho).
This group, which meets monthly, is facilitated by Marilyn Kohn, LCSW, a licensed social worker with a private practice specializing in bereavement counseling and individual and family therapy. This is for parents NEW TO COPE, as Marilyn’s other Thursday and Monday groups are filled at this time.
For more information, please email Stacey at scareri@copefoundation.com.
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Bi-Monthly Grandparents Support Group – East Meadow
COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)
Tuesday July 12th at 6:30 PM
COPE has started up a new group for bereaved parents who have lost adult children with children. This group will meet on Tuesday, July 12th from 6:30-8:00 p.m. and will be facilitated by Lisa Vitucci. Parents will discuss the dynamics involved dealing with grandchildren and their surviving parent and share their stories and issues they may have in this different family relationship. Suggestions can be made as to how to deal with these issues Lisa has more than ten years’ experience as a bereavement social worker for a hospice agency and is currently the Director of Social Work at ProHEALTH Care Support. Lisa can be reached with any questions at 516-808-5821.
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Bi-Monthly Grandparents Support Group – East Meadow
COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)
Tuesday July 12th at 6:30 PM
COPE has started up a new group for bereaved parents who have lost adult children with children. This group will meet on Tuesday, July 12th from 6:30-8:00 p.m. and will be facilitated by Lisa Vitucci. Parents will discuss the dynamics involved dealing with grandchildren and their surviving parent and share their stories and issues they may have in this different family relationship. Suggestions can be made as to how to deal with these issues Lisa has more than ten years’ experience as a bereavement social worker for a hospice agency and is currently the Director of Social Work at ProHEALTH Care Support. Lisa can be reached with any questions at 516-808-5821.
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Friday Night Central Suffolk County Parent Support Group – Ronkonkoma
United Methodist Church in Ronkonkoma
Friday, July 22nd at 7:00 p.m. SHARP
Please join COPE and social worker Lisa Vitucci for our NEW Central Suffolk County Parent Support Group at the United Methodist Church in Ronkonkoma (792 Hawkins Avenue Lake Grove, NY 11755, 631-588-5856). This group will meet next on Friday, July 22nd at 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. Lisa has more than ten years’ experience as a bereavement social worker for a hospice agency and is currently the Director of Social Work at ProHEALTH Care Support. Lisa can be reached with any questions at 516-808-5821.
For more information or to express interest in this group, please email Stacey at scareri@copefoundation.com.
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Tuesday Night Long Island Adult Sibling Group – East Meadow
COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)
Tuesday, July 19th at 7:00 p.m. (NOTE: Group Now Meeting on Tuesdays)
Please join COPE for our adult sibling group on Long Island on Tuesday, July 19th from 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. at the COPE House in East Meadow. For directions, please visit our website at www.copefoundation.org or email scareri@copefoundation.com. The group will be facilitated by licensed social worker Amy Kirschenblatt. Amy is a social worker with EDTC (Eating Disorders Treatment Collaborative) in Jericho, NY. Previously, she worked in a prenatal care program at NSHS/LIJ.
For more information, please email Stacey at scareri@copefoundation.com.
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Teen Grief Support Group (13-17) – East Meadow
COPE House in East Meadow
Thursday, July 14th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP
Teens that have lost a sibling, parent, or significant loved one…. If you are interested in attending the new COPE Teen Grief Support Group the second Thursday evening of every month at 7:00 p.m. at the COPE House in East Meadow, please express your interest to Clinical Director Amy Olshever at 516-418-6606. The next meeting of the group will be July 14th at 7:00 p.m.
The group is facilitated by licensed social worker Jennifer Plunkett. Jennifer is currently a psychotherapist with a private practice in Huntington where she specializes in treating adolescents, and an adjunct instructor at Suffolk Community College where she teaches courses in Child & Adolescent Psychology. Jennifer previously served as a bereavement specialist at Good Shepherd Hospice. There will also be a weekly social media component involved between the meetings. There is no cost to participate in this program.
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NYC Parent Support Group
1177 Avenue of the Americas @46th Street
ON HIATUS
The New York City parent group, facilitated by social worker Bridgette Boucher, which met on the second Tuesday of every month at 1177 Avenue of the Americas at 46th Street floor C-2, Suite 0020 from 7:00-8:30 p.m. is CURRENTLY ON HIATUS awaiting additional interest. If you know of anyone interested in this group, please contact COPE Clinical Director Amy Olshever at amyolshever@copefoundation.com.
Bridgette is currently a family therapist working with the Sloan Kettering Cancer Center and has a private practice in New York City. She was previously a therapist for the Ackerman Institute for the Family, treating families dealing with grief, substance abuse, domestic violence, trauma and relationship problems. For more information, please contact Bridgette at boucher9175@gmail.com.
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NYC Young Adult Sibling Support Group –
Express Interest Now
Location TBD in Manhattan – Looking for Space
The COPE young adult sibling support group in Manhattan is going to be starting up again soon! If you are an adult sibling interested in attending, please email Karen Flyer at Karen@copefoundation.com. The group will likely meet on the 1st or 3rd Wednesday evening of the month, with exact date and time determined by facilitator and space availability.
We are looking for office space to hold our group. If you work in an office in Manhattan that would have space we could borrow one night per month, please let Karen know. The space does need to be large – the group tends to have 6-10 people. A licensed social worker employed by COPE would be running the group.
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Young Children’s Grief Support Group (Ages ~7-12)
COPE House in East Meadow
ON HIATUS
The Children’s Grief Support Group for kids ages 7-12 living with the loss of a loved one is on hiatus due to lack of enrollment. If you are interested in your child joining an 8-week spring group, please contact COPE Clinical Director Amy Olshever at 516-418-6606 or amyolshever@copefoundation.com.
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Monthly Meditation
COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)
TBA
The Monthly Meditation Group takes the place of the Spirituality Circle. Monthly Meditations will meet at the COPE House in Eisenhower Park in East Meadow. Since space is limited please RSVP.
COPE hopes that all parents interested in meditation as an integral part of the healing process will attend these monthly get-togethers. Some months will include guest speakers and healers. If you have any questions, please contact Lilly Julien at ljulien5@gmail.com.
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Integrative Healing Workshop Series
Restoring Peace of Mind Without Medication: A Natural Approach with
Thursday, July 28th, 7:000PM, COPE House in Eisenhower Park
Please join COPE and Marie Legis, LAc., LMT and discover how Acupuncture and Chinese medicine can address chronic anxiety or depression after a traumatic incident or loss. Marie will explain the medical theory behind this work and share dramatic stories of recovery in clients who suffered from PTSD, insomnia, nightmares or obsessive thinking. Lifestyle considerations such as diet, sleep and meditation will be discussed.
Please RSVP to Stacey at SCareri@copefoundation.com by July 21st.
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REGISTER NOW
COPE’s 14th Annual Walk
Sunday, September 25, 2016, 10:00am – 1:00pm
Long Beach Boardwalk in Long Beach
Walk to honor our children and siblings who have passed, to support members of COPE and encourage their healing, and to expand the organization’s outreach to others in need of help.
To register or donate to the Walk, please click here.
This year, COPE is utilizing CrowdRise to support team fundraising. Check out COPE’s CrowdRise page here.
Please contact Stacey here if you have any questions about CrowdRise
or need assistance setting up a team page.
To volunteer, please click here.
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Community Events
Please contact Stacey at scareri@copefoundation.com with any community healing events to list in our newsletter.
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COPE Individual Peer Support/Mentor
Sign up for Peer support or to be a Peer Mentor!
For those bereaved parents and siblings not ready for a support group, or who wish to augment their support group experience with individual support, COPE offers “peer mentor support” If you are in need of a peer mentor (a parent or sibling who shares your particular loss), OR if you wish to act as a peer mentor to a newly bereaved parent or sibling, please contact Stacey at scareri@copefoundation.com. Peer support is truly at the heart of COPE!
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COPE Donations
We thank the following people for making donations to COPE during the months of (late) May and June:
General Donations
- Helene & Michael Marcello
- Kevin & Christine Meininger
- Dr. Sam and Jane Brody
- Chris Mangano Cavaliere
- Michael & Talia Cohen
- Allen Steinberg
- Brian & Sandi Werfel
- Lindsay Bennett in Honor of Holly Oestreich
- Meadowbrook Women’s Initiative
- Nassau County Bar Association We Care Fund
- Steven Nathaniel Wolkoff Foundation
- Andrew Shultz in memory of Sammi Mergentime
COPE thanks everyone who supported our recent COPE Golf Outing. Your donations to COPE and Camp Erin NYC will provide parents, siblings, and children continued support.
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If you no longer wish to receive these newsletters, please email Stacey at scareri@copefoundation.com.
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COPE Foundation
P.O. Box 1251
Melville, NY 11747
Tel: (516) 484-4993, Fax: 516-484-4885
Email: scareri@copefoundation.com
| www.copefoundation.org |