COPE May Newsletter
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Words from COPE President and Founder Lilly Julien
Dear COPE Families:

Mother’s day is one of those days when we have to dig deep for whatever gets us through.

For many, the answers lie within. We have more control when we rely on ourselves. When we look to others, they often fall short of our expectations.

Our attitude and choices are all that we can really control.

Emotions change from one day to the next. When the actual day arrives, either give yourself permission to have the best day you can or choose to give yourself permission to just be sad and embrace the sorrow. Whatever you choose is okay. You have permission to be where you are.

Quite honestly, I don’t know how I will be this Mother’s Day since it will be an especially provocative one. On that Sunday morning I will be in Manhattan receiving a prestigious award on behalf of COPE-Camp Erin® NYC. How ironic that on Mother’s Day I will be recognized for having survived a mother’s worst nightmare and for the legacy my loss helped to create. I don’t know whether I’ll embrace my loss or my pride. But I will try to take my own advice and give myself permission to be in the moment.

Wishing you whatever you need to embrace your loss and your love.

Lilly

COPE Healing Tip of the Month

Although Mother’s Day is usually a time of celebration, for those who have lost a child the day can be filled with pain. Unfortunately, there is no real way of avoiding Mother’s Day. The stores are filled with gifts and advertisements on the radio and in the news bombard us for weeks prior to the holiday. Reminders are everywhere and this sensory overload of Mother’s Day media can intensify new grief and or cause old grief to resurface. So how do you care for yourself as a mother, or someone who loves a mother? Here are some ideas:

Be proactive—plan ahead for the day
Recognize potential painful situations–Restaurants, for example, may be a source of discomfort. They may ask if you are a mother or a father in order to give you a complimentary item. Be prepared for this question so you are not taken off-guard.
Spend time with friends and family members who understand your situation.
Allow yourself space to be sad but also to share happy memories
You don’t need to “be strong” on this day or try to minimize the loss by counting your other blessings. You are allowed to grieve, so give yourself permission.
Do something in honor of your child’s memory: Give a donation to a charity. Light a candle at church. Visit the gravesite. Plant a living memorial for your child in the form of a tree or rose bush.
Many moms find that doing something special for their missing child (whether in private or with family) gives them the ability to make it through the rest of the day because they know they haven’t “forgotten” their absent child.
Having an “escape plan” if you just can’t hold it together is also a wise idea. Letting your spouse or a close friend know about your plan allows you to use it quietly if needed while they deal with any explanations that are needed.
Do something to care for yourself-go away for the weekend, spend time being pampered with a massage, manicure or whatever feels like pampering to you.
Everyone grieves differently so everyone will cope differently. Think about what will work for you to get through what could be a difficult day

Remember you will always love your child and you will always be a mother.

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Please Support our Organization
Please help COPE continue to provide support by making a donation. Any donation can be made in tribute to a particular child or loved one. To donate on line, please click here to visit our donation page www.copefoundation.org, or you can send in a check to COPE at P.O. Box 1251, Melville, NY 11747. COPE thanks you for your support.
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May COPE Calendar of Events (see details below)

May Workshops:
5 COPE Parent Support Group Meeting – South Shore (Merrick Jewish Center: 7:00pm)
5 COPE Monday Parent Support Group Meeting– North Shore (COPE House: 7:30pm)
8 COPE Parent Support Group Meeting – North Shore (Syosset Library: 7:00pm)
10 COPE Young Adult Sibling Group in NYC (317 Madison Ave. in Manhattan: 11:00am)
12 COPE Monday Parent Support Group Meeting– North Shore (COPE House: 7:30pm)
13 COPE NYC Parent Support Group (1177 Ave of Americas in Manhattan: 7:00pm)
14 COPE Suffolk County Support Group in Dix Hills (Chai Center: 7:00pm)
19 COPE Golf Outing (Muttontown Club in East Norwich: 10:00am)
20 COPE Parent Support Group Meeting – East Meadow (Temple Emanuel: 7:30pm)
22 COPE Parent Support Group Meeting – North Shore (Jericho Library: 7:00pm)
27 COPE Yoga Workshop: Yoga Tools for Healing (COPE House: 7:00pm)
28 COPE Long Island Young Adult Sibling Group (COPE House: 7:00pm)
28 COPE Parents Writing Workshop (COPE House: 7:00pm)

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Poem

Just A Dream Away

I would give my life to have you back,
Said the Mom
I know you would, said her child.
I cry each night for you, said the Mom
And I catch all of your tears said her child
I pray for the day
That I can see you again,
Said the Mom
Just close your eyes and you can see me,
Said her child
I am always just a dream away………….
You are the first person who loved me,
And you are the first person I loved.
You were always there
when I needed you,
And you always knew
when I needed a hug.
I am here for you now, mom
In your heart and in your soul.
I did not take your heart with me
Instead I left mine with you to hold.
One day I will take your hand
And lead you to paradise,
But until then my beautiful mother,
When you want to see me
You only need to close your eyes.
I am always just a dream away…..
by Tammy, grieving mom of angel Holli
COPE Book Corner
Remembering with Love: Messages of Hope for the First Year of Grieving and Beyond
By Elizabeth Levang, Elizabeth and Sherokee Ilse

Elizabeth Levang, PhD is a leading consultant and educator in the field of coping with grief and bereavement.

Excerpt:
“No two people experience grief in precisely the same way, and no one can tell you how to grieve. It is a process that can’t be rushed or avoided. There are no simple shortcuts-it must be lived. Our intention is not to provide a formula or roadmap to grieving. Instead, we have chosen to include a wide range of feelings, options, issues, and experiences that, hopefully, you will relate to as your grief ebbs and flows over time. There are nearly three hundred entries within Remembering With Love. You may want to start at the beginning and follow along, or use the Reader’s Guide to locate the specific topics that coincide with your own needs. Some pages may feel appropriate for a particular day, while others may not. We invite you to draw the messages you find most meaningful into your heart and leave the others for another time. you may also wish to revisit pages that are especially meaningful to you. This book begins with a section titled The Early Days. These pages offer immediate words of encouragement which can be read daily during this trying time. As the weeks and months progress, new challenges and concerns will confront you. The sections titled The Early Weeks and The Uneven Path address issues that may surface at this time, allowing you to find the messages that speak to your own concerns. As you continue your struggle to heal, you may notice that at times your feelings may become less intense. At some point you may discover that you are having more good days than bad, when the pain of grief will not always seem quite so overwhelming. The section titled The Continuing Journey Towards Healing helps you recognize your progress toward renewal while continuing to offer validation of your woundedness. As important as it is to recognize that you have survived the first year, we are aware that grieving does not abruptly end after the first anniversary. The section titled Beyond The First Year takes you past this point, offering ongoing emotional support. Special Days, Moments, and Concerns is a collection of poetry and prose for birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and considerations of particular significance. You may find a need for additional encouragement at these critical times.”
To purchase the book though Centering Corporation, please click here (http://www.centering.org/index.php?page=book&id=88&pid=326). Please enter the coupon code “COPE” where it asks for “Input Coupon or Promotional Code”. Doing so will enable 10% of your purchases to be directed back to COPE.

If you have a book to recommend which you think will help our families along their path of healing, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.com.

COPE and Centering Corporation
COPE has partnered with the Centering Corporation to provide you with easy access to grief resources through our website. Centering Corporation is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing education and resources for the bereaved. With resources on adult grief, death of a child, infant loss, children’s grief, as well as a host of grief-related products, Centering Corporation’s goal is, “We give you support. We give you information. We give you hope.”

You can easily access Centering Corporations vast array of resource from the home page of COPE’s website, the left or top tool bar where is says, “Grief Resource Center”.

When checking out on the Centering Corporation’s website, COPE hopes that you will enter the coupon code “COPE” where it asks for “Input Coupon or Promotional Code”. Doing so will enable 10% of your purchases to be directed back to COPE to help fund the grief support programs we offer parents, siblings and families living with the loss of a child. COPE thanks you for your support.

COPE has published its very own Kindle book on how bereaved parents can COPE with their loss! The Kindle book, “COPING WITH THE LOSS OF A CHILD: Strategies for Living with Loss & How Friends Can Help” is available on Amazon.
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Birthdays & Passings
In the month of May, we remember the following loved ones who were taken from us before their time:

1 Stuart Gruskin (2009, passing), son of Renee Gruskin
Michelle Nardone (2008, passing), daughter of Nick Nardone
Michael Aaron Neeley (1981, birthday), son of Joy Neeley
Peter Kaliscik (2013, passing), son of Carol & Peter Kaliscik
2 Rachel Anolik-Petrsoric (2007, passing), daughter of David and Rose Anolik, sister of Jill Anolik Sokoloff
William Laube (1989, birthday), son of Beth & William Laube and brother of Christina Laube
Sydney Gross (1990, birthday), daughter of Lori Duckstein and sister of Stephanie and Stuart Gross
3 Adam Stark (1982, birthday), son of Candice & Jeff Stark, sister of Mariel Stark
Jesse Radowitz (1977, birthday), son of Sherry & Stu Radowitz
Joe Marino (1994, birthday), son of Diane Marino
4 Jordana Arin Cooper (1974, birthday), sister of Jason Cooper
Deborah Barnes (2012, passing), daughter of Marcia Jedzrowski
Patrick Murphy (2013, passing), son of Karen Murphy
5 Matthew Lichten (1996, passing), son of Eric Lichten
Spencer Reis (1997, birthday), son of Jeff & Anita Reis, brother of Ryan Reis and Josh Reis
6 Michael Eichenbaum (birthday), son of Linda & Lee Eichenbaum
Cliff Leslie (2000, passing), son of Yvonne and brother of Jamy Leslie and Jacob Leslie
Jesse Radowitz (2007, passing), son of Sherry & Stu Radowitz
Christina Angelo (2010, passing), daughter of Aileen and Joseph Angelo
Jennifer Jiminez (2010, passing), sister of Julianne Jiminez
Cody McKenzie Gainey (2011, passing), son of Michelle Wright
Joseph Janssen (2013, passing), son of Mike Janssen
7 Nicholas Cibelli (2010, passing), son of Pam Cibelli and brother of Michelle and Jen Cibelli
8 Keith Costigan (1998, passing), son of Kathie Costigan
Adam Rayman (2004, passing), son of Anita & Harry Rayman
Adam Zdunczyk (2008, passing), son of Kathy Zdunczyk
9 Steven Goldberg (1969, birthday), son of Carol Goldberg
Jay Jiminez (1979, birthday), son of Liz Barbera
11 Donna Hope (1969, birthday), daughter of Ellen & Jack Krampf
Matthew Bell, Jr. (1994, birthday), son of Matthew Bell
13 Joseph Oliva (1991, birthday), son of Theresa Oliva
James Totans (2011, passing), son of Priscilla Apicella
Joe Olitt (1991, birthday), brother of Mike Olitt
Nicholas Reimuller (2012, passing), son of Maureen Reimuller
14 Howard Brodsky (1961, birthday), son of Harriet & Phillip Brodsky
Blaize Mansur (2013, passing), son of Stephanie Mansur and Grandson of Wayne & Susan Mansur
Michael Bloomberg (1971, birthday), son of Sandi & Jerry Bloomberg
Laurie Schiffer (2013, passing), daughter of Helen Goldstein
15 Larry Finkel (2013, passing), son of Doris Finkel
16 Lonny Ostrofsky (2001, passing), son of Marilyn Ostrofsky
Staci Love (2002, passing), sister of Kim Erlich
17 Blaize Mansur (1994, birthday), son of Stephanie Mansur and Grandson of Wayne & Susan Mansur
Blake Carlin (1997, birthday), son of Jacqueline Carlin
18 Leonard Ross (2007, passing), son of Irwin & Barbara Ross
Samuel Hawkins (2008, passing), son of Abigail Hawkins
Rebecca Guerin (1970, birthday), daughter of Rose & James Guerin
19 Christopher J. Eisele (1985, birthday), son of John & Kathy Montoya
Michelle Bergman (2010, passing), daughter of Marc & Jean Levinn, sister of Sharri Chahalis
Dr. James Matthew Wiezorek (2013, passing), son of Mary Beringer
Kurt McAuliffe (2013, passing), son of Jeannie McAuliffe
21 Brad Stoll (passing), son of Lucy & Howard Stoll
Jacob Goodman (1988, birthday), son of Nancy Goodman
22 Michael Jennings (1981, birthday), son of Fran Jennings
23 Daniel Milch (1980, birthday), son of Linda Milch
Dex Nuzzi (2011, passing), son of Robert Nuzzi
Walter Allen Harding, III (2013, passing), son of Delores Mower
24 Troup Risser (2006, passing), son of Wendy Holden
Mario Guy Mendez (1968, birthday), son of Ellen Pontecorvo
Adam Cohen (1974, birthday), son of Marilyn Cohen
25 Joshua Link (1980, birthday), son of Linda & Ron Link and brother of Sara Link
Dale Dampf (2010, passing), daughter of Paula Dampf
Larry Gnolfo (1961, birthday), son of Coral & Jim Gnolfo
26 Sharon Gallucci (passing), daughter of Patti & Dave Greenberg, sister of Robbie Gallucci, Ben Greenberg and Marne Greenberg Smyles
Adam Stark (2001, passing), son of Candice & Jeff Stark, sister of Mariel Stark
Christopher F. Elshamy (1983, birthday), son of Haydee Santiago
David Tauber Wiener (1973, birthday), son of Phyllis Wiener
Kaeli Kramer (2009, passing), daughter of Linda & Peter Kramer
27 Michael Kwartler (2013, passing), son of Jeff Kwartler
James Zajicek (1980, birthday), son of Anna Zajicek
28 Eric Essman (2000, passing), son of Sage Essman
Leonard Ross (1979, birthday), son of Irwin & Barbara Ross
Sean Egan (1983, birthday), son of Ellen Seibert and brother of Paige Seibert
Joanna Elizabeth Johnson (1990, birthday), daughter of Donna Johnson and Jake Johnson and sister of Laura Johnson
Rebekah Frucht (2012, passing), daughter of Morty & Dena Frucht, sister of Joseph Frucht
Thomas Reynolds (1998, birthday), son of Lisa Reynolds
29 Sydney Gross (1990, birthday), daughter of Lori Duckstein and sister of Stephanie and Stuart Gross
Fran Sharp Auslander (1978, birthday), daughter of Robert & Arlene Sharp and sister of Ari Sharp and Shaun Sharp
Robert Kevin O’Hara (2011, passing), son of Patricia O’Hara
Mark Edwin Fant (1959, birthday), son of Winnie Fant
30 Larry Yerys (1971, birthday), son of Abbey & Paul Yerys
Susan Shapiro (1961, birthday), suster of Joan Shapiro
31 Yaacov (Jake) Soffer Levy and Shlomo (Sol) Levy (1997, passing), son and husband of Barbara Levy
Daniel Weiss (2009, passing), son of Hannah Weiss
Michael Aaron Neeley (2006, passing), son of Joy Neeley

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COPE Parent Column
May 2014

My beautiful son Thomas Shavel would have been 42 years of age on April 21, this year. He passed 3 years ago and I buried him on my birthday -. Every time I see a beautiful living creature like a butterfly or dog I think of him as he was a programmer at the top of his field and in the process of studying to become a veterinarian due to his love for life itself and the helplessness of our little creatures. He was also a gifted musician who was self-taught in every instrument and wrote music and produced it. Last but not least he could build a home from scratch or anything you wanted as a carpenter. I have a hole in my heart and I thank you for reaching out perhaps I can revert my thinking that I did have him for 38 years but as a mother we are not supposed to bury out child.
May your support help others as myself,
– Janet Shavel

What can I say about Spencer? He was that perfect child that we all dream about, our youngest of three sons. He contracted leukemia, and only lasted 8 1/2 months. He was beautiful, kind, loving, and mostly diligent. He promised at his Bar Mitzvah to cure cancer, got sick a year later and we know the result. Please let us all support charities that benefit pediatric cancer.
– Jeff Reis

Please share with us your writings about your child. Email Karen Flyer at Karen@copefoundation.com for more information.

COPE Sibling Column
May 2014

On April 26th,1996, I lost my brother Sean. I lost my best friend. I was just 21 years old. With no heads up, just a sudden tragedy and a rug pulled from under. I changed as a person. I joined this circle of just understanding. No words. Just listening.

All I was left with was memories. Not a day goes by when I don’t think of him and his infectious smile. I’m all grown-up now – married, with my own family, and I relive my memories by watching the relationship between my son and daughter. Their growing pains, playing, fighting and laughter remind me of Sean and I when we were kids. The bond between siblings is unique.

I am lucky to have shared so many wonderful years with Sean, and I hold him close to my heart every day.
– Shannon Russo-Pollack

Please share with us your writings about your sibling. Email Karen Flyer at Karen@copefoundation.com for more information.

COPE News
Congratulations to Linda & Ron Link on their daughter Sara’s engagement!

Below is a link to a wonderful resource for COPE parents for their grieving teens:
http://www.outwardbound.org/group-programs/heroic-journey/

Below is a link COPE parents might find helpful, a guide to resources and referrals to prevent identity theft of deceased children.
http://www.idtheftinfosource.com/Deceased_Child.html
If anyone has any news to share with the group or a poem or inspirational story (to potentially be included in a future newsletter if you wish), please email Karen Flyer at karen@ copefoundation. org.

Also, if you would like to have a picture of your child or sibling posted on the COPE website, please email me a jpeg and we will add it to the children’s page. Also, if you have any foundations for your child, we would happily list those on our website.

COPE Yoga Workshop for Parents and Adult Siblings
Tuesday, May 27, 2014, 7:00 p.m.
COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)
Join COPE and yoga instructor Andrea Garvey for “Yoga Tools for Healing” the first of our monthly “Healing from the Inside Out” Programs sponsored by a generous grant from the Long Island Community Foundation. The first workshop will be held on Tuesday, May 27, 2014 at 7:00 p.m. at the COPE House in Eisenhower Park, East Meadow (Field 6A).

“Yoga Tools for Healing”
In this workshop, we will utilize various yoga poses, breathwork, guided meditation, and sound healing to help us release anxiety and fear, and offer ourselves compassion. You will leave with tools to help maintain a balanced life.

Andrea Garvey, RYT, CHHC, is a certified yoga instructor and student of yoga for over 40 years. She is also a Holistic Health Coach, certified by the Institute of Integrative Nutrition, 2002, and was certified as a 2nd degree Reiki practitioner in 1986. As a Holistic Health Coach, she maintains a private practice in Greenlawn, utilizing EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and is available for Sound Healing and Chakra classes and workshops. Along with her husband Neil, Andrea publishes Creations Magazine. Contact her at: andrea@creationsmagazine.com

We plan to offer alternative healing workshops on a monthly basis at the new COPE House as part of this grant from LICF. Future planned workshops include:
Art Therapy
Reiki
Tai Chi
Music Therapy
Labyrinth
Drumming Circle
Meditation
Spirituality Group
Massage Workshop
Movement Therapy
Spa Workshop

For more information about the yoga workshops or other upcoming workshops, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.com.

COPE Camp Erin
For the Latest News About COPE Camp Erin New York City!
August 2014

Hi Everyone and Happy Spring!

With the sun comes smiles and the prospect of camp!

We held our first COPE- Sibling and COPE-Camp Erin NYC Bowl-a-thon at Chelsea Piers in April and was simply WOW’d by all the support. Our first combined fundraising effort turned out to be a huge success thanks to the dedication and support of COPE-siblings, Camp Erin volunteers, friends, family, co-workers and Camp Wayne alumni. Bowling Team captains did an amazing job at spearheading the fundraising effort -doubling our goal. What does this all mean? More campers will be served each summer and the Bowl-a-thon will be BIGGER and BETTER next year!!!!!!!!

The HBO documentary, One Last Hug, which aired on April 14, has brought a great deal of attention to Camp Erin’s across the country. My phone has been ringing and families are emailing inquiring about camp. We are so proud to be able to offer children a fun, safe and supportive environment where they can go to cope with their loss and learn, by talking about their feelings, that they can begin to heal.

Lastly, we want to invite everyone to our COPE-Camp Erin NYC Open House on Thursday, June 5th from 9-11am at our new COPE House in Eisenhower Park (Field 6A). Come meet our staff, learn more about the camp, and enjoy some coffee and bagels!

Ann
Director, COPE-Camp Erin NYC

Camp Erin New York City, a FREE bereavement camp for children ages 6-17 dealing with a major loss, is scheduled for August 22nd – 24th, 2014, at Camp Wayne, in PA, on the New York State border. For more information on Camp Erin, volunteering, or for registration materials, please email Camp Erin New York City Camp Director Ann Fuchs at afuchs@copefoundation.com or 914-552-6919.

COPE Golf Outing Event
Monday, May 19th
Muttontown Club in East Norwich, NY
COPE’s eighth annual golf outing is less than a month away! Register now to attend and/or support this year’s event on Monday, May 19, 2014 at the Muttontown Club in East Norwich, NY, honoring former COPE board member Michael Corpuel and the Corpuel and Brown families who generously donate their camp, Camp Wayne, every year for COPE Camp Erin NYC®. Past year’s events have sold out for golfers and dinner guests, and we look forward to another successful event this year.

You can participate in or support the event in one of many ways: register to golf or attend the dinner, sponsor a tee sign to be displayed on the course, buy raffle tickets, or make a donation to the event by clicking HERE. For complete event details or to download the event brochure, click HERE.

The golf outing raises 75% of COPE’s budget for the year, and since we do not ask families to pay for most of the support groups, workshops and events we offer, we rely on this important fundraiser to bring in enough money to fund our programs. The outing is a great opportunity for individuals and organizations to create awareness of their missions or pay tribute to a loved one, and for parents and siblings to honor their child/sibling, as well as the Corpuels and Browns.

For additional information about sponsoring or attending the golf outing, or volunteering at the event, please contact Erica Berg Gavin, COPE Golf Outing Coordinator, at elberg@verizon.net.

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South Shore – Parent Support Group Meeting
Merrick Jewish Center
Monday, May 5th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP
Join COPE and social worker Judy Hasnas for our South Shore Parent Support Group meeting on Monday, May 5th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP at the Merrick Jewish Center (in the LIBRARY unless otherwise noted) which is located at 225 Fox Boulevard Merrick, NY. This group meets one Monday evening of the month at this time. Judy Hasnas, LCSW, BCD, has a private practice in Bellmore, New York, and facilitated bereavement groups for parents of fire fighters who were killed on 9/11 as part of the Counseling Service Unit, FDNY. She also worked as an independent contractor at the Steinway Child and Family Service of Howard Beach and was a social work coordinator at Bellevue Hospital Center.

For more information, please email Karen Flyer at karen@ copefoundation. org.

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North Shore – Parent Support Group Meetings
Syosset and Jericho Libraries
Thursday, May 8th at 7:00 p.m. & Thursday, May 22nd at 7:00 p.m. SHARP
Join COPE for our North Shore Parent Support Group meeting on Thursday, May 8th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP the Syosset Public Library (225 So. Oyster Bay Road). COPE will once again be joined by Marilyn Kohn, LCSW, a licensed social worker with a private practice specializing in bereavement counseling and individual and family therapy.

The second North Shore meeting will take place on Thursday, May 22nd at 7:00 p.m., facilitated by Marilyn Kohn at the Jericho Public Library in Jericho (1 Merry Lane).

For more information, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.com.

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North Shore – Monday Night Parent Support Group Meeting
COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)
Monday, May 5th and Monday, May 12th at 7:30 p.m. SHARP
The Monday night COPE North Shore group will meet this month on Monday, May 5th and Monday, May 12th from 7:30 – 9:30 p.m. This group will also be facilitated by Marilyn Kohn, LCSW, and will be held at the COPE House in Eisenhower Park, East Meadow NY at Field 6A. For directions, please visit our website at www.copefoundation.org or email karen@ copefoundation. org. Any North Shore parents new to COPE should attend this support group meeting as the Thursday group is filled to capacity at this time.

For more information, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.com.

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Suffolk County – Parent Support Group Meeting
The Chai Center in Dix Hills
Wednesday, May 14th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP
Please join COPE and social worker Denise Fields for our Parent Support Group in Suffolk County, at the Chai Center in Dix Hills (501 Vanderbilt Parkway). This group meets next on Wednesday, May 14th at 7:00 p.m. Denise has a private psychotherapy practice in Dix Hills, specializing in bereavement. She previously was a consultant to the Huntington School district, and ran bereavement groups for the Family Service League in Huntington. The group meets the second Wednesday evening of every month from 7:00-9:00 p.m.

For more information, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.com.

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South Shore – East Meadow Parent Support Group
Temple Emanuel in East Meadow
Tuesday, May 20th at 7:30 p.m. SHARP
The East Meadow South Shore Parent Support Group which normally meets the third Tuesday of the month from 7:30 – 9:30 p.m. at Temple Emanu-El (the Family Room) in East Meadow (123 Merrick Avenue) will meet next on Tuesday, May 20th from 7:30 – 9:30 p.m. The group is facilitated by Ed Paley, a licensed clinical social worker for 30 years with significant experience working in the field of bereavement.

For more information, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.com.

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COPE New York City Parent Support Group
1177 Avenue of the Americas @46
Tuesday, May 13th from 7:00-9:00pm
Please join COPE and social worker Bridgette Boucher for our New York City parent support group for parents living with the loss of a child. The group meets the second Tuesday of every month at 1177 Avenue of the Americas at 46th Street floor C-2, Suite 0020 from 7:00-9:00 p.m. The group will meet next on Tuesday, May 13th. You must RSVP for this group so that your name can be put on a list for the security guard.

Bridgette is currently a family therapist working with the Sloan Kettering Cancer Center and has a private practice in New York City. She was previously a therapist for the Ackerman Institute for the Family, treating families dealing with grief, substance abuse, domestic violence, trauma and relationship problems. For more information, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.com or contact Bridgette directly at boucherbri@aol.com. You must be on an RSVP to be let upstairs in the building.

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NEW New York City – COPE Support Groups
Location in Manhattan TBD
COPE plans to further expand its support into New York City with three new support groups. We are actively in the process of identifying space to hold these groups and facilitators. If you are interested in attending any of the following, please email Karen Flyer at karen@ copefoundation. org.

Bereavement Support Groups for Young Widows and Widowers (Ages 49 and Under)
Bereavement Support Groups for Young Siblings (Ages 5-10)
Bereavement Support Groups for Teens (Ages 11-17)

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New York City – Young Adult Sibling Group
317 Madison Ave. Manhattan (NOTE: NEW LOCATION)
Saturday, May 10th at 11:00 a.m.
Please join COPE for our young adult sibling support group in Manhattan on Saturday, May 10th from 11:00 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. The group will be facilitated by licensed social worker Amy Kirschenblatt (who takes over this group from Candice Goldberg this month). Amy is currently a social worker with North Shore Hospital System/LIJ Forest Hills Hospital PCAP. She was previously a school social worker for the New York City Board of Ed. The group will be held at 317 Madison Avenue, Suite 1704, NY, NY 10017 (offices of tmg emdia; corner of 42nd Street). NOTE: NEW LOCATION!!!! Any questions, please call Amy at 917-696-2751.

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Long Island – Young Adult Sibling Group
COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)
Wednesday, May 28th at 7:00 p.m.
Please join COPE for our young adult sibling group on Long Island on Wednesday, May 28th from 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. at the COPE House in East Meadow. For directions, please visit our website at www.copefoundation.org or email karen@ copefoundation. org. Please do not use Mapquest or a navigation system. The group will be facilitated by licensed social worker Amy Kirschenblatt who has taken over the group from Tracey Sherman. Amy is currently a social worker with North Shore Hospital System/LIJ Forest Hills Hospital PCAP. She was previously a school social worker for the New York City Board of Ed. For more information, please email Karen Flyer at Karen@ copefoundation. org.

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COPE Teen Sibling Group (11-17)
267 E Main Street, Ste B in Smithtown
Every Other Thursday Evening
On Hiatus
The COPE teen sibling group which normally meets bi-weekly on Thursday evenings with social worker Leslie Arent is now on hiatus. To express interest in this for upcoming sessions, please email Karen Flyer at karen@ copefoundation. org. An intake interview with the facilitator must precede starting with the group for NEW participants.

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NEW GENERAL BEREAVEMENT GROUP FOR KIDS
Loss of Sibling/Loss of Parent Group (For Children Ages 5-10)
COPE House/Elias Hicks Home in Jericho
On Hiatus
COPE plans to start up a general bereavement group for children ages 5-10 who have lost either a sibling or a parent. The group will be facilitated by a licensed social worker, and will be held at the COPE House in Jericho. Even if your child participated in the young sibling group in the past, he/she is welcome to attend this group. For more information or to express interest in this group, please email Karen Flyer at karen@ copefoundation. org. Based on interest and availability, we will determine a meeting date and time once the group has been established.

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COPE Suicide Survivors Group
COPE House/Elias Hicks Home in Jericho
On Hiatus
If you are a parent who has lost a child to suicide or a sibling who has lost their brother or sister to suicide and are interested in attending the COPE Suicide Survivors Group one evening of every month at 7:00 p.m. at the COPE House in Jericho, please express your interest to Karen Flyer at Karen@copefoundation.com. The group is currently on hiatus awaiting enrollment and identification of a new facilitator to replace Tracey Sherman who ran the group for the past few years. We thank Tracey immensely for her dedication to the group and wish her well in her future endeavors.

COPE Parent Writing Workshop
“Write, Talk, Read or Listen: The Power of Words in Healing”
Wednesday, May 28th at 7:00p.m.
COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)
COPE parents who like to use words to describe, contain and make sense of their grief and their experiences, please join social worker and bereaved parent Sandy Wolkoff for our bi-monthly Writing Workshop for Parents. This group will meet next on Wednesday, May 28th at 7:00 p.m. at the COPE House in Eisenhower Park. For more information, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.com.
COPE Art Therapy Workshop for Parents
No Meeting This Month
Lilly Julien’s Studio in Huntington
Art therapy will NOT be meeting this month. Please check in next month! For more information, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.com.

COPE Spiritual Circle
No Meeting This Month
Lilly Julien’s House in Huntington Station
The NEW monthly COPE Spiritual circle will meet one Wednesday evening of every month at Lilly Julien’s home in Huntington Station (29 Covington Street). The group will NOT meet this month.

The meetings will be hosted by COPE President and Founder Lilly Julien and author Jerry Weinstock. COPE hopes that all parents interested in spirituality as an integral part of the healing process will attend these monthly get-togethers. Some months will include guest speakers and healers. If you have any questions, please contact Lilly Julien at ljulien5@gmail.com. Since space is limited please RSVP.

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Community Events
Please contact Karen Flyer at Karen@copefoundation.com with any community healing events to list in our newsletter.

Good Shepherd Hospice
Presents Mother’s Day Workshop
“For Those Who Are Grieving”
Saturday May 3, 2014
Good Shepherd Hospice Inpatient Center
200 Belle Terre Road
Port Jefferson, NY 11777
1 pm ‐ 2:30 pm

Saturday May 3, 2014
Mercy Medical Center
(Lower Level Employee Cafeteria)
1000 North Village Avenue
Rockville Centre, NY 11571
1 pm ‐ 2:30 pm

Thursday May 8, 2014
In collaboration with Good Samaritan Hospital
Good Samaritan Hospital Medical Center
Patio Cafe
1000 Montauk Hwy
West Islip, NY 11795
6:30 ‐ 8 pm

For questions and registration, please call
The Bereavement Department at 631‐465‐6262 or 516‐465‐6262
or email maribeth.mckeever@chsli.org
Good Shepherd Hospice is a member of Catholic Health Services of Long Island
2nd Annual “Music Heals the Heart” fundraiser to celebrate the life of Eric Doll
When: Sunday, May 18 from 2-6pm
Where: Westbury Friends Community Center (Westbury Friends School)
550 Post Ave., Westbury, NY
Entrance Fee: $10.00 at the door

We will have fantastic raffles, door prizes, great food and live music.

All the proceeds from the door will be going to the AFSP, the COPE Foundation and the Eric Doll memorial scholarship at Calhoun High School.

After the Death of Child: A Workshop for Parents
Don’t walk alone! Join us for an exploration of the impact the loss of your child has had on your life, his/her legacy to you, and strategies for facing the future.
Co-facilitated by Rabbi Pamela Wax and Sherry Birnbaum, LCSW

5 Wednesdays, April 9, May 21, June 11, and July and August dates TBD, 6:30-8:00 PM
Westchester Jewish Community Services
845 N. Broadway
White Plains, NY 10603
(914) 761-0600 x149
Suggested donation: $72

COPE Individual Support, or “Buddy System”
For those bereaved parents and siblings not ready for a support group, or who wish to augment their support group experience with individual support, COPE offers a “buddy system.” If you are in need of a buddy (a parent or sibling who shares your particular loss), OR if you wish to act as a buddy to a newly bereaved parent or sibling, please contact Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.com. Peer support is truly at the heart of COPE!

COPE Donations
We thank the following people for making general donations to COPE during the months of (late) March and April 2014:

Erica & Doug Gavin
Susan & Glenn Kaufman in memory of David Cooperman
Susan & Meritt Gavin in honor of Judy Berg’s birthday
Lori & Jerrold Axinn in honor of Judy Berg’s birthday
Fran & Larry Seiden
Martin J. McCleneghan in memory of Peter Kaliscik
Margo Toscano in honor of Judy Berg’s birthday

COPE thanks everyone who made donations to Camp Erin during the months of (late) March and April 2014:

● Christina & Rob Allen in honor of Erica Berg Gavin and Family
● Marnie Fish & Yeda Fish in memory of Jordan Fish – Camp Wayner
● Patricia Metzger
● Jay Poindexter
● Randy & Michael Corpuel
● Jesse & Michelle Levitt
● Anthony Gray in honor of Stacy Shaw Barth
● Geoffrey Friedman in honor of the Juliens
● Jackie Cohen & Bryan Cohen
● Lauren Cammiso
● Lillian Julien
● Joshua Corpuel and Jennifer Goldin in memory of Michelle Julien
● Slyvia & Joseph Yasgur
● Elizabeth Rolnik
● David & Shari Nyman
● Milton & Jena Berlinski
● Razoo Foundation
● Albert & Marlene Kapit
● Ann Fuchs
● Karen Newton
● Mark L. Kramer
● Robin & Michael Picker
● Marc & Lexi Sternberg in honor of Lexi Kraus
● Sara Link in memory of Josh Link
● Donald Ciullo

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If you no longer wish to receive these newsletters, please email Karen Flyer at Karen@ copefoundation. org.

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Karen Flyer
Executive Director, COPE
P.O. Box 1251
Melville, NY 11747
Tel: (516) 484-4993, Fax: 516-484-4885
Email: karen@ copefoundation. org
www.copefoundation.org