Lilly and Michelle

The COPE Foundation was inspired by a dream.

In 1992, my 20 year-old daughter, Michelle, lost her life tragically in a car accident. In the midst of my grief, she came to me in a dream and said, ” I’m okay, Mommy. You’re the ones who aren’t okay and you need to reach out and help each other.”

I woke with a vision of grieving parents and siblings coming together for emotional support.

Michelle’s message inspired COPE, (an acronym for Connecting Our Paths Eternally) and has been my ongoing source of inspiration. Ironically, it was in the process of building COPE, and connecting with other parents who had lost a child, that I found healing.

At the time I didn’t want to heal. I only wanted to find a way to stay connected to Michelle. It has been said, “Death ends a life, but not a relationship.” Through COPE I found purpose and a new relationship with my daughter.

As I look back over the past twenty-three years, I’ve learned this:

By helping others, I helped myself.
By dedicating myself to building something in my child’s name, I helped myself.
By staying connected and recreating my relationship with my daughter, I helped myself.

Twenty-three years ago, I didn’t think I would ever recover from my loss, ever survive the pain, ever live again. Twenty-three years later, I have rediscovered life again—a life that includes my daughter, Michelle, and a love that is eternal.

I have immense gratitude for all those who support COPE and our programs.

I hope that COPE can be a source of comfort, and help you rediscover paths of love and connection,


Grief Quest, by COPE Founder COPE Founder Lillian Julien

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Grief Quest has been named an Award-Winning Finalist in two categories of the 2012 USA Best Book Awards: “Health: Death & Dying” and “Self Help: Journaling”

In the agony and inconsolable grief of losing a child, we find ourselves asking questions we’ve never asked before…

When we say we’ve “lost” our child, the truth is we’re lost. The world as we’ve known it no longer exists. The right questions are like a trail in the wilderness that can lead us out of the darkness toward the light of a new life that is forever changed.

Grief Quest utilizes a unique question-based L.O.V.E process –

L – Love your memories
O – Open to your grief
V – Value the gifts
E – Embrace your life

The questions in Grief Quest will help you memorialize your child. The simple act of recording your memories is a tribute to the love and life you shared.

If you embark on this Grief Quest you’ll get to know yourself and your relationship with your child on a deeper level than you thought possible.

Lilly Julien and I.J.Weinstock created Grief Quest out of their experience with love, loss and grief. Julien is the founder and president of COPE, the grief foundation she created in memory of her daughter that supports families in the New York area who’ve lost a child.

A portion of the proceeds from the sale of the book will go toward funding COPE.

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