COPE FEBRUARY NEWSLETTER
Words from COPE President and Founder Lilly Julien
“On the outside I’m trying to be brave and tough. On the inside my heart is breaking.”
These were the words my daughter, Michelle, wrote in a letter home from camp when she was 7 years old.
I hear her words resonating in my thoughts as January 25th approaches—25 years since she passed.
Isn’t that what we do—try to put a smile on our faces when inside we’re feeling sad, anxious and vulnerable?
25 years ago, I wasn’t only broken. My heart was shattered. It’s taken years and years to find the tools to pick up the pieces. I have read books, attended conferences, followed speakers—Brian Weiss, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross… I have seen mediums. I have engaged in art therapy. I have done Reiki and sound healing, yoga, dance trance, and meditation. I have had massages and watsu, done breathwork and shamanic journeys. I have explored any path that offered a possibility of connecting with my daughter, and finding another piece of my heart.
25 years later, I am still working to put together those shattered pieces, and as I do, I continue to find connections. Each piece brings me closer to Michelle with a higher awareness and an inner peace.
Love is the peace and the piece that can never be destroyed. Love is the connecting piece to all that was and all that will forever be.
“We are all connected” were the words I heard in my head on the day my daughter died. 25 years later, I can feel a connection that I didn’t feel that day. Each time that I open myself to opportunities to connect, there are new possibilities and our connection grows stronger…Connecting Our Paths Eternally.
Love to each of you as together we COPE.
Lilly
COPE President and Founder
Ljulien5@gmail.com
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COPE HEALING TIP OF THE MONTH
From COPE Clinical Director Amy Olshever, PhD, LCSW
Coping
Losing a loved one stays with us forever. But holidays, in particular, can be grief triggers (Healing Tips 11/16), causing similar reactions to anniversaries and birthdays and making the loss even harder to cope with. With its focus on love and relationships, Valentine’s Day can be especially difficult. It is hard to escape because reminders are everywhere, often causing us pain. But even when it seems impossible, we cope with that pain. We cope with that pain because the vast majority of us are hard-wired to survive. How we cope is where it can look different. We all cope differently. How we grieve depends on many factors, including personality and coping style, life experience, faith, spirituality and the nature of our loss (who we lost and how we lost them). What is true for all of us is that the grieving process takes time. But for each of us it takes a different time. And even for ourselves–we may grieve differently on different days and in different moments. Healing happens, but it happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried. Whatever our grief experience looks like today, in this moment, it is important that we are patient with ourselves and allow our individual process to unfold.
Here are some ideas to specifically help you cope on Valentine’s Day (and other trigger days).
- Eliminate or manage your expectations. Don’t assume you will be sad—you might find that memories come up that are comforting. You may want to laugh or smile. Don’t be afraid of joy and laughter. Research has shown that positive emotions and laughter are hugely helpful when coping with loss.
- Have a plan: Don’t get blindsided on the day, if you know it is coming. Do something that feels safe to you.
- Seek support. Having the support of loved ones who understand how you’re feeling can be very helpful. You can tell your friends or family that you don’t want to be alone that day (or that you prefer to be alone—and that is okay). Come to a support group! Groups are great places to learn what works for others with similar losses.
- Journal or write it down. Journaling can help you release those stored-up feelings in a safe place, Come to one of our Writing Workshops to get started.
- Most Importantly–Do what works for you.
Think about what will make you feel better. If you’re not sure, consider what healthy coping skills have helped you before when facing difficult times. Coping doesn’t have to be perfect or fit a mold—it just needs to get the job done.
PLEASE SUPPORT OUR ORGANIZATION
Please help COPE continue to provide support by making a donation. Any donation can be made in tribute to a particular child or loved one. To donate online, please click here to visit our donation page www.copefoundation.org, or you can send in a check to COPE at PO Box 1251 Melville, NY 11747.
COPE thanks you for your support.
Please Support the COPE Foundation when ordering on Amazon by using amazon smile and listing COPE Foundation as your charity of choice.
FEBRUARY COPE CALENDAR OF EVENTS
Support Groups:
February 2,9,16
Thursday: Teen Support Group – East Meadow (COPE House, 7:30pm)
February 9
Thursday: North Shore Parent Support Group for Established Parents – Syosset (Syosset Public Library, 7pm)
February 6
Monday: South Shore Parent Support Group – Merrick (Merrick Jewish Center, 7pm)
February 6
Monday Night Parent Support Group for Parents New to COPE – East Meadow (COPE House, 7pm)
February 7
Tuesday: DAYTIME Parent Support Group – East Meadow (COPE House, 1pm)
February 8
Wednesday: Western Suffolk County Parent Support Group – Dix Hills (Chai Center, 7pm)
February 10
Friday: New York City Adult Sibling Group – (DASHA® Flagship, The Galleria, 115 East 57th Street, Suite 520, New York, NY, 10022, 6:15 pm-7:45 pm)
February 13
Monday: Parent Support Group Meeting – East Meadow (COPE House, 7:30pm)
February 14
Tuesday: Grandparent Support Group – East Meadow (COPE House, 6:30 pm)
February 15
Wednesday: DAYTIME Parent Support Group – East Meadow (COPE House, 1pm)
February 15
Wednesday: Creative Writing Workshop – East Meadow (COPE House, 6:30pm)
February 16
Thursday: North Shore Parent Support Group for Parents New to COPE – Jericho (Jericho Public Library, 7pm)
February 21
Tuesday: Long Island Adult Sibling Group – East Meadow (COPE House, 7pm)
February 24
Friday: Central Suffolk County Parent Support Group – Ronkonkoma (United Methodist Church, 7pm)
February 25
Saturday: Creative Writing Workshop – East Meadow (COPE House, 2:00 pm)
POEM
You’re My Star, My Dear
© Alex more by Alex , Published on July 2011
The beam shines down,
The rays so bright,
The stars come forward,
At the dead of night.
I feel you close,
You’re always here,
The glow of the sun,
You’re my star, my dear.
An angel gained,
A distance apart,
Our friendship lives on,
A place in my heart.
I feel you close,
You’re always here,
The glow of the sun,
You’re my star, my dear.
A loss like this,
Won’t heal too soon,
You light the sky,
The sun, the stars, the moon.
I feel you close,
You’re always here,
The glow of the sun,
You’re my star, my dear.
Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com
COPE BOOK CORNER
The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss
By Bonanno, George
We tend to understand grief as a predictable five-stage process of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But in The Other Side of Sadness, George Bonanno shows that our conventional model discounts our capacity for resilience. In fact, he reveals that we are already hardwired to deal with our losses efficiently—not by graduating through static phases. Weaving in explorations of mourning rituals and the universal experiences of the death of a parent or child, Bonanno examines how our inborn emotions—anger and denial, but also relief and joy—help us deal effectively with loss. And grieving goes beyond mere sadness: it can deepen interpersonal connections and often involves positive experiences. In the end, mourning is not predictable, but incredibly sophisticated. Combining personal anecdotes and original research, The Other Side of Sadness is a must-read for those going through the death of a loved one, mental health professionals, and readers interested in neuroscience and positive psychology.
If you have a book to recommend which you think will help our families along their path of healing, please email info@copefoundation.org.
COPE AND CENTERING CORPORATION
COPE has partnered with the Centering Corporation to provide you with easy access to grief resources through our website. Centering Corporation is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing education and resources for the bereaved. With resources on adult grief, death of a child, infant loss, children’s grief, as well as a host of grief-related products, Centering Corporation’s goal is, “We give you support. We give you information. We give you hope.”
You can easily access Centering Corporations vast array of resource from the home page of COPE’s website, the left or top tool bar where is says, “Grief Resource Center”.
When checking out on the Centering Corporation’s website, COPE hopes that you will enter the coupon code “COPE” where it asks for “Input Coupon or Promotional Code”. Doing so will enable 10% of your purchases to be directed back to COPE to help fund the grief support programs we offer parents, siblings and families living with the loss of a child. COPE thanks you for your support.
COPE has published its very own Kindle book on how bereaved parents can COPE with their loss! The Kindle book, “COPING WITH THE LOSS OF A CHILD: Strategies for Living with Loss & How Friends Can Help” is available on Amazon.
BIRTHDAY’S AND PASSING
In the month of February, we remember the following loved ones who were taken from us before their time:
February 1
Brad Stoll (birthday), son of Lucy & Howard Stoll
Troy Gable (2011, passing), son of Regina Gable
Kendra Bowers (2014, passing), sister of Kayla Bowers
Barry Drebin (2015, passing), son of Shlomo & Rivkah Drebin
February 2
Shaun Tolan (2011, passing), son of John & Janis Tolan and brother of Sherry Carpenito
Jordyn Fisher (1994, birthday), daughter of Beth & Dick Fisher
Steven Tassis (1966, birthday), son of Lorraine Tassis
Woody Zalman (2016, passing), son of Debra Berley
February 3
Delbert White (1962, birthday), son of Howard & Annie White
Randie Delmont (2008, passing), daughter of Joel & Shelley Switko
Kieran McCaffrey (2008, passing), son of John & Tara McCaffrey
Edward Ennis (1988, birthday), son of Paula Nolan
Kristen Ramirez (1988, birthday), daughter of Marilyn Jordan
Danny Elias (2015, passing), son of Barbara Masoni
February 4
Michael Jarosz (2012, passing), son of Angela & John Jarosz
February 5
Robert Moss (1987, birthday), son of Bob & Krista Moss
Karissa Volpe (2011, passing), daughter of Karen Volpe
Robert Carpinelli (2012, passing), son of Linda Carpinelli
Andrew Torres (1994, birthday), son of Benjamin Torres
February 6
David McKey (1950, birthday), son of Gerry McKey
Larry Gnolfo (2001, passing), son of Coral & Jim Gnolfo
Terry C. Long, Jr. (1982, birthday), brother of Jen Gaynor
Nicholas Maniscalco (1987, birthday), son of Deborah Gibson
February 7
Michael Long (1975, birthday), son of Ariella Long
Dawn Leslie (1990, birthday), daughter of Karen & David Leslie
Matthew Bell, Jr. (2013, passing), son of Matthew Bell
Kelly Georgens (1979, birthday), sister of Allison Georgens Costello
Alvaro Hernandez (1966, birthday), brother of Christina Hernandez
Joseph Pratt (2014, passing), son of Susan Pratt
February 8
Tara Celli (2009, passing), daughter of Geraldine Celli
Howard Safir (1969, birthday), son of Lucy & Fred Safir
Ryan Shaw (2016, passing), son of Janice Shaw
Joseph Phillip Hoehn (2016, passing), son of Phillip Hoehn
February 9
Myrna Quesada (1971, birthday), sister of Mario Quesada
Corey Loeliger-Myers (1983, birthday), brother of Kenny Loeliger-Myers
February 10
Seena Liff (2012, passing), daughter of Eleanor Liff
Kevin Lynch (2012, passing), son of Barbara Lynch
Dean Galasso (1988, birthday), son of Priscilla Galasso
Brenton Kristoffer Smith (1991, birthday), son of Stacie Snyder
Miranda Marciano (1994, passing), daughter of Jeff Marciano
February 11
Ehlin Puett-Sandberg (2009, passing), daughter of Marla Puett-Sandberg
Joshua Levi (2013, passing), son of Suzanne Levi
Patrick Murphy (1981, birthday), son of Karen Murphy
Monique Iveliz Tartt (1995, birthday), daughter of Cynthia & Everett Mojica
Zachary Fishfein (1992, birthday), son of Eileen Fishfein
February 12
Austin Verville (2008, passing), son of Christine & Matthew Verville
Joey Pignatiello (2012, passing), son of Connie Pignatiello
Luis Schwartz (1977, birthday), brother of Jen and Matthew Schwartz
February 13
Kevin Goldstein (1968, birthday), son of Jane Shaw
Tysean Thomas (2009, passing), son of Alma Thomas
Richard Barthel (2008, passing), son of Paul & Judith Montelione
Daniel MacDougall (2013, passing), son of Nancy MacDougall
Timothy Grennan (1980, birthday), son of Karen & Robert Grennan
Zayna Connelly (2012, birthday), daughter of Sarah & Michael Connelly
Danny Elias (1961, birthday), son of Barbara Masoni
Brendon Bittner (2015, passing), brother of Jessica Markus
Lawrence Insigna (2016, passing), son of Michelle Insigna
February 14
Valerie Bedziner (2012, passing), daughter of Lisa Bedziner
Jenna Baron (1995, birthday), daughter of Jean Pignatiello
February 15
Kevin Goldstein (2005, passing), son of Jane Shaw
Jeffrey Goldsmith (1982, birthday), son of Nancy & Terry Goldsmith, brother of Erica and Andrew Goldsmith
Jeremy Lee Graham (1985, birthday), son of Jayne Graham
Jason T. Micheline (2013, passing), son of Stephanie Micheline
February 16
Wayne Lipinski (1964, birthday), son of Sue Lipinski
Mark Paone (2015, passing), son of Margaret Paone
Evan Artz (2016, passing), son of Beverly & Bill Artz
February 17
Jeffrey Goldstein (1978, birthday), son of Sharon Cutler
Jennifer Taylor Bell (1994, birthday), daughter of Jane Bell
February 18
Carol Kestenbaum (2007, passing), daughter of Rita & Ron Kestenbaum
Nicole Schiffman (2007, passing), daughter of Cheryl & Ron Schiffman sister of Lindsey Schiffman
Maria Gloria Verdile (2007, passing), daughter of Holly Verdile
Vicki Marczak (1977, birthday), daughter of Judith & Ed Marczak
Jonathan Cotromano (1983, birthday), son of Suzanne Cotromano
February 19
Gina DiCanio (1978, birthday), daughter of Jackie DiCanio
February 20
Blakely Kay (1979, birthday), daughter of Barbara Russell
Paul David Faria (2007, passing), son of Gloria Faria
Earnest Montes Jr. (1993, passing), son of Lucy & Earnie Montes
Tyler Heelan (2009, passing), son of Leslie Heelan
Brian Hom (1993, birthday), son of Karen & Jim Hom
Ruth Piracci (2014, passing), sister of Ronnie Piracci
Audrey Garcia (2015, passing), daughter of Barbara McGowan
February 21
Marsha Lazar (1957, birthday), daughter of Adrian Lazar
Shauni Ashley Frank (2011, passing), daughter of Christine Sparkman
Michael Monica (1987, birthday), son of Dale Monica
February 22
Joshua Shome (1978, birthday), son of Larry & Paula Shome
Taylor Matthews (2008, passing), daughter of Sue Matthews and sister of Ryan Matthews
David Dawson (2009, passing), son of Fran Dawson
Maeve Grace Maguire (2013, passing), daughter of Jennifer Maguire
February 23
Joseph Janssen (2008, birthday), son of Mike Janssen
John C. Grega (2014, passing), son of Marion Grega
February 25
David Tauber Wiener (2008, passing), son of Phyllis Wiener
Michael Monica (2016, passing), son of Dale Monica
February 26
Joe Marino (2012, passing), son of Diane Marino
Isabel Alessi (2014, passing), daughter of Alla Bas
Kerri Marie Jackowski (1988, birthday), daughter of June & Keith Jackowski
Brittany Shulman (1992, birthday), daughter of Susan Shulman
February 27
Stefanie Rieger (2009, passing), daughter of Andrea & Keith Rieger
Michelle Nourman (1997, birthday), daughter of Simin Nourmand and sister of Joseph Nourmand
Peter Cannon (2004, birthday), brother of Roman and Frank Cannon
February 28
Morris Lindenbaum (passing), son of Sylvia Lindenbaum
Eric Licursi (2010 passing), son of Donna Licursi, brother of Lorraine Licursi
Daniel Milch (2000, passing), son of Linda Milch
Kenny Klein (2011, passing), son of Sue Klein
COPE PARENT COLUMN
February 2017
Martina Sternberg, PhD, NCC writes about her son Josh….
I wanted to write something in this newsletter to honor my son, Joshua, who died Jan 24, 2013 at the young age of 22. I looked at the blank piece of paper for minutes that seemed like hours. What? I have nothing to say about my son? In reality, I just didn’t know where to start. In our culture, I have learned, talking about our children who have left this world much too early, is taboo. People don’t REALLY want to know how you are feeling, they want you to say “I am fine” and whatever you do, do NOT mention your child, because it makes them uncomfortable when what I really want to do is talk about Josh. Another lady in my office building lost her child when she was three years old. I asked her if she has pictures of her little girl in her office and she said No because it would make others uncomfortable. I look around my office and realize I have taken pictures of both of my children down because I couldn’t have pictures of my living daughter and none of my son. That would not honor his life. That would seem to me like he never existed so I took all pictures down…not for me, but to make others more comfortable. The other day someone told me “I didn’t know you lost a child, I am so sorry.” It felt good to talk about Josh and introduce her to my wonderful son. Grief doesn’t get easier, we learn when and who to talk about it with. People tell us they want to the old “me’” back. Who is this “old me?” I don’t even know her and couldn’t be her again. I am sorry. We (I) feel I need to make others feel better when they mistakenly mentioned my son. I am not sorry! Why should I be? He was and is a beautiful person. He taught me so much and not worrying about life. You know that song “Don’t worry, be happy?” It reminds me of Josh. His ‘dream’ was to live on the beach just no worries, loving life. My daughter got out of the Army and moved to the beach when Josh died.
My Josh. Josh was very athletic and quiet young man. He listened a lot but never did most of the talking. He got himself in some trouble when he was 15 (like lots of boy) he would cut school and things like that. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s so I thought it was the perfect time to move to be with her and get Josh away from the kids he cut school with. He was 19 when he met his future wife who was 28. I wasn’t a bug fan but when she got pregnant, just like everything else in life you accept it and support your kids. We used to have “mommy and me” time. It was one of these “mommy and me” dates when he TRIED to tell me he was pregnant. I knew something was up. He was fumbling all over his words and so nervous. When we left, he sent me a text and told me his girlfriend was pregnant. I said something silly like well at least she can’t get pregnant now. She had 4 other boys 5,5, 3, and 1 year old. Josh loved the boys and was amazing…just simply amazing to the boys. She wasn’t a great mom (putting it nicely). After Josh died in a car accident, she gave the other 4 boys to their parental grandparents (3 sets of grandparents) and we got Gabriel. Gabriel is my reason for living. He looks like his daddy and he gives me reason o keep Josh alive and talk about him every day. You hear that doing something for others helps you deal with your grief. I thought since Josh loved kids so much, I would donate to “NO Kid Hungry.” I still do, every month. I made little notes that said “In loving memory of Joshua Craig” and when I would give someone money on the street or buy them food whatever, I would give that to them as well so they would say or at least read Josh’s name.
I have walked to raise money for Alzheimer’s for many years (My granddad had it as well) and I was raising Gabriel to be like his dad – a great, great man! It still felt like I needed to do something to honor my son. As I shared earlier, Josh was very athletic. My husband was football coach and I was team mom this year for Gabriel (just like we did for josh) and we noticed 2 other grandparents raising their grandchildren on the same team. I looked around for support groups or anything and found nothing so I started a support group and some other things for grandparents raising grandchildren. It seems like a great fit for my mom (who raised my brother’s kids) and my son who left me with his most precious gift, Gabriel.
Josh was just so beautiful inside and out. He truly never said a negative word about people. He was just a “love the world” kind of person. Josh taught me a lot of lessons in his life and still today but one that really speaks to the type of person he was – Gabriel was and is my first grandson. He is everything that people say about their first grandbaby. I used to buy hi everything and anything. For Christmas when Gabriel was 6 months old (his first Christmas) I asked Josh if we could have a small Christmas with Gabriel, my husband and I and then a Christmas for all of us. He said “Mom, I have 5 sons and they should all get the same amount of Christmas toys.” Darn! Of course, he was right. He was that way about everything and I loved him for it and for everything he was, is and will be. Yes, he is still here and making a difference. We went to Florida to see my daughter for Christmas this year and almost every picture with Gabriel in it had an orb in the picture. Pictures were taken with different cameras, in different lights, on different days but almost every one with Gabriel in it, had Josh’s orb in it as well. Yes, he is still with us and participating in our lives as only he can.
A poem shared by Marilyn Roldan in honor of her daughter Kirsten’s 2nd year anniversary on January 30th and her birthday on February 3rd
To My Dear Kirsten,
Hope you are singing and dancing with all the Angels in Heaven. Miss you more than words can express…till we meet again!
Love you always and forever,
Mom
♡ ..You’ll never be forgotten
That simply cannot be.
As long as I’m living,
I’ll carry you with me.
Safely tucked within my heart
Your light will always shine;
A glowing amber never still,
Though out the end of time.
No matter what the future brings.
Or what may lie ahead,
I know that you will walk with me
Along the path I tread.
So rest my angel, be at peace.
And let your soul fly free,
One day I’ll join your flight,
For all eternity.♡
— Unknown “Never forgotten”
To share your thoughts about this posting, please click here to visit our website and enter your comment under the LEAVE A REPLY section.
Please share with us your writings about your child. Email info@copefoundation.org for more information.
COPE SIBLING COLUMN
February 2017
Please share with us your writings about your sibling. Email info@copefoundation.org for more information.
COPE NEWS
If anyone has any news to share with the group or a poem or inspirational story (to potentially be included in a future newsletter if you wish), please email info@copefoundation.org.
CAMP ERIN ® NYC – COPE FOUNDATION
For the Latest News About COPE Camp Erin New York City!
August 25 – 27, 2017
Hi Everyone,
We are still glowing from this summer’s wonderful Camp Erin NYC experience. Hearing from families as their journey continues, confirms that our energy and efforts are making a difference.
This is a quiet time of year and our focus is spreading the word about Camp Erin NYC. SOOOO…. when you can, with whomever you can, please bring awareness about Camp Erin NYC and encourage any family to reach out to COPE or directly to me.
We are here with open arms and healing hearts.
Wishing everyone a wonderful start to the New Year!
For more information on Camp Erin, please email COPE-Camp Erin New York City Camp Director Ann Fuchs at afuchs@copefoundation.com or 914-552-6919.
COPE BOWLING EVENT
Save the Date: Thursday, March 23, 2017 at 7:00 p.m.
Bowlmor Long Island in Melville
COPE families, please join us for our annual Bowling Event on Thursday, March 23rd at 7pm at Bowlmor Long Island in Melville.
Event Description & Cost: $80 per person includes 3 hours of UNLIMITED bowling, shoe rental, unlimited Hors d’oeuvres, and ALL YOU CAN EAT Italian dinner buffet, soda, coffee and dessert. OR…$50 per person for dinner buffet only. Cheer on COPE bowlers and enjoy a fun evening socializing with COPE friends and family!
Corporate/Individual Sponsorship Opportunities:
Tier One: $1,000. Includes entrance for 10 people (2 dedicated lanes), TV monitor signage above all lanes all night, and large, dedicated sign at the event.
Tier Two: $600. Includes entrance for 5 people (1 dedicated lane) and medium sign at the event.
Tier Three: $400. Includes entrance for 4 people and small sign at the event.
Sponsorships are due March 1st and advanced registration preferred by March 16th.
If you are interested in sponsoring, or have questions, please contact 516-832-COPE or info@copefoundation.org.
To register or sponsor online, please visit www.copefoundation.org and click on the purple DONATE NOW box in the upper right corner of the home page. In the COMMENTS box, please indicate that this is for a bowling registration or sponsorship.
Monday Night Parent Support – Merrick
Merrick Jewish Center
Monday, February 6th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP
Join COPE and social worker Judy Hasnas for our South Shore Parent Support Group meeting on Monday, February 6th from 7:00– 8:30 p.m. SHARP at the Merrick Jewish Center (in the LIBRARY unless otherwise noted) which is located at 225 Fox Boulevard, Merrick, NY. This group meets one Monday evening of the month at this time. Judy Hasnas, LCSW, BCD, has a private practice in Bellmore, New York, and facilitated bereavement groups for parents of fire fighters who were killed on 9/11 as part of the Counseling Service Unit, FDNY. She also worked as an independent contractor at the Steinway Child and Family Service of Howard Beach and was a social work coordinator at Bellevue Hospital Center.
For more information, please email info@copefoundation.org.
Monday Night Parent Support Group for Parents New to COPE – East Meadow
COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)
Monday, February 6th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP
The Monday night COPE North Shore group for parents NEW TO COPE will meet this month on Monday, February 6th from 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. This group will be facilitated by Marilyn Kohn, LCSW, and will be held at the COPE House in Eisenhower Park, East Meadow NY at Field 6A. For directions, please visit our website at www.copefoundation.org.
For more information, please email info@copefoundation.org.
Tuesday DAYTIME Parent Support Group – East Meadow
COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)
Tuesday, February 7th at 1:00 p.m. SHARP
The NEW DAYTIME Parent Support Group which normally meets the first Tuesday of the month at the COPE House at Eisenhower Park (Field 6A) in East Meadow will meet next on Tuesday, February 7th from 1:00– 2:30 p.m. The group is facilitated by licensed social worker Janet Zimmerman. Janet is currently in private practice as a psychotherapist. She previously ran bereavement groups for the Mid-Island JCC and has been a social worker for almost 40 years. For more information or to express your interest, please contact Amy Olshever, COPE Clinical Director, at 516-418-6606.
Wednesday Night Western Suffolk County Parent Support Group – Dix Hills
The Chai Center in Dix Hills
Wednesday, February 8th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP
Please join COPE and social worker Denise Fields for our Parent Support Group in Suffolk County, at the Chai Center in Dix Hills (501 Vanderbilt Parkway). This group meets next on Wednesday, February 8th from 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. Denise has a private psychotherapy practice in Dix Hills, specializing in bereavement. She previously was a consultant to the Huntington School district, and ran bereavement groups for the Family Service League in Huntington. The group normally meets the second Wednesday evening of every month from 7:00-8:30 p.m.
For more information, please email info@copefoundation.org.
Wednesday DAYTIME Parent Support Group – East Meadow-NEW ADDITION
COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)
Wednesday, February 15th at 1:00 p.m. SHARP
The NEW DAYTIME Parent Support Group, will meet on the third Wednesday of the month at the COPE House at Eisenhower Park (Field 6A) in East Meadow. This group will next meet on Wednesday, February 15th from 1:00 – 2:30 p.m. The group is open to all current members and new members. The group is facilitated by licensed social worker Janet Zimmerman. Janet is currently in private practice as a psychotherapist. She previously ran bereavement groups for the Mid-Island JCC and has been a social worker for almost 40 years. For more information or to express your interest, please contact Amy Olshever, COPE Clinical Director, at 516-418-6606.
Monday Night Parent Support Group – East Meadow
COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)
Monday, February 13th at 7:30 p.m. SHARP
The Monday night COPE North Shore group will meet this month on Monday, February 13th from 7:30 – 9:00 p.m. This group will be facilitated by Marilyn Kohn, LCSW, and will be held at the COPE House in Eisenhower Park, East Meadow NY at Field 6A. For directions, please visit our website at www.copefoundation.org. This group is for parents who have been part of COPE. New to COPE parents should plan on attending the other Monday night meeting on January 9th.
For more information, please email info@copefoundation.org.
Thursday Night North Shore Parent Support Group for Established Parents – Syosset
Syosset Library
Thursday, February 9th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP
Join COPE for our Two-Year Plus North Shore Parent Support Group meeting on Thursday, February 9th at 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. SHARP at the Syosset Public Library (225 So. Oyster Bay Road).
COPE will once again be joined by Marilyn Kohn, LCSW, a licensed social worker with a private practice specializing in bereavement counseling and individual and family therapy. This is a group intended for parents whose loss occurred over two years ago. Newly bereaved parents should feel free to attend one of COPE’s other support groups.
The second group, at the Jericho Public Library in Jericho (1 Merry Lane) is now for parents new to COPE. This group will next meet on Thursday, February 16th.
For more information, please email info@copefoundation.org.
Thursday Night North Shore Parent Support Group for Parents New to COPE – Jericho
Jericho Library
Thursday, February 16th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP
Parents NEW TO COPE, please join us for our North Shore Parent Support Group meeting on Thursday, February 16th from 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. SHARP at the Jericho Public Library (1 Merry Lane in Jericho).
This group, which meets monthly, is facilitated by Marilyn Kohn, LCSW, a licensed social worker with a private practice specializing in bereavement counseling and individual and family therapy. This is for parents NEW TO COPE, as Marilyn’s other Thursday and Monday groups are filled at this time.
For more information, please email info@copefoundation.org.
Friday Night Central Suffolk County Parent Support Group – Ronkonkoma
United Methodist Church in Ronkonkoma
Friday, February 24th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP
Please join COPE and social worker Lisa Vitucci for our Central Suffolk County Parent Support Group at the United Methodist Church in Ronkonkoma (792 Hawkins Avenue Lake Grove, NY 11755, 631-588-5856). This group will meet next on Friday, February 24th at 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. Lisa has more than ten years’ experience as a bereavement social worker for a hospice agency and is currently the Director of Social Work at ProHEALTH Care Support. Lisa can be reached with any questions at 516-808-5821.
For more information or to express interest in this group, please email info@copefoundation.org.
Long Island Adult Sibling Group – East Meadow
COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)
Tuesday, February 21st at 7:00 p.m.
Please join COPE for our adult sibling group on Long Island on Tuesday, February 21st from 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. at the COPE House in East Meadow. For directions, please visit our website at www.copefoundation.org. The group will be facilitated by licensed social worker Amy Kirschenblatt. Amy is a social worker at Cohen’s Children’s Medical Center. Previously, she worked in a prenatal care program at NSHS/LIJ.
For more information, please email info@copefoundation.org.
Teen Grief Support Group (13-17) – East Meadow
COPE House in East Meadow
Thursday, February 2nd, 9th and 16th, 7:30pm – 9:00pm
Teens that have lost a sibling, parent, or significant loved one, please join COPE for our teen grief support group meeting weekly for 8 weeks beginning on February 2nd. The February groups will take place on February 2nd, 9th and 16th at 7:30pm at the COPE House in Eisenhower Park in East Meadow. The group will be facilitated by Lauren Jukosky, LCSW. Lauren recently served as a pediatric oncology social worker for the Steven & Alexandra Cohen Children’s Medical Center of New York where she provided supportive counseling and assisted families with understanding medical diagnoses and specialized in end-of-life counseling. She also was a social worker at the New York Eye & Ear Infirmary in New York, and a group facilitator at the Center for HOPE (where she conducted bereavement support groups for bereaved children).
If you are interested in attending the COPE Teen Grief Support Group the second Thursday evening of every month at 7:30 p.m. at the COPE House in East Meadow, please express your interest to Clinical Director Amy Olshever at 516-418-6606.
There is no cost to participate in this program. The complete list of dates for the 8 weeks are: February 2, 9, 16 and March 2, 9, 16, 23, and 30.
NYC Parent Support Group
1177 Avenue of the Americas @46th Street
ON HIATUS
The New York City parent group, facilitated by social worker Bridgette Boucher, which met on the second Tuesday of every month at 1177 Avenue of the Americas at 46th Street floor C-2, Suite 0020 from 7:00-8:30 p.m. is CURRENTLY ON HIATUS awaiting additional interest. If you know of anyone interested in this group, please contact COPE Clinical Director Amy Olshever at amyolshever@copefoundation.com.
Bridgette is currently a family therapist working with the Sloan Kettering Cancer Center and has a private practice in New York City. She was previously a therapist for the Ackerman Institute for the Family, treating families dealing with grief, substance abuse, domestic violence, trauma and relationship problems. For more information, please contact Bridgette at boucher9175@gmail.com.
NYC Adult Sibling Support Group–Re-starting
DASHA® Flagship, The Galleria, 115 East 57th Street, Suite 520
New York, NY, 10022
Friday, February 1o, 2017 at 6:15 pm
We are pleased to announce that we will be restarting the NYC Adult sibling group on Friday, February 1oth from 6:15 pm to 7:45 pm at DASHA® Flagship, The Galleria, 115 East 57th Street, Suite 520, Manhattan. The group will be facilitated by one of our own Camp Erin Grief Chiefs, Jonathan Glotzer. Jonathan has been practicing psychotherapy in the New York City area for over 17 years and is currently a Behavioral Health consultant for a private Human Resource consulting firm. He was also a clinical social work supervisor for both acute psychiatric inpatient and psychiatric emergency room services for Health and Hospitals Corporations (HHC), a NYC network of hospitals. Jonathan holds a B.A. in psychology from Binghamton University and a Master’s of Social Work from Adelphi University. He currently is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in the State of New York and has a private psychotherapy practice in the Chelsea section of NYC providing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to adults and adolescents.
This group will meet monthly on the 2nd Friday of the month.
For more information, please email info@copefoundation.org.
Grandparents Support Group
COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)
February 14, 2017 at 6:30 pm
The Grandparents Support Group is for bereaved parents who have lost adult children with children. This group will meet on Tuesday, February 14th from 6:30-8:00 p.m. and will be facilitated by Lisa Vitucci. Parents will discuss the dynamics involved dealing with grandchildren and their surviving parent and share their stories and issues they may have in this different family relationship. Suggestions can be made as to how to deal with these issues Lisa has more than ten years’ experience as a bereavement social worker for a hospice agency and is currently the Director of Social Work at ProHEALTH Care Support. Lisa can be reached with any questions at 516-808-5821.
Young Children’s Grief Support Group (Ages ~7-12)
COPE House in East Meadow
ON HIATUS
The Children’s Grief Support Group for kids ages 7-12 living with the loss of a loved one is on hiatus due to lack of enrollment. If you are interested in your child joining an 8-week spring group, please contact COPE Clinical Director Amy Olshever at 516-418-6606 or amyolshever@copefoundation.com.
Monthly Meditation
COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)
TBA
The Monthly Meditation Group takes the place of the Spirituality Circle. Monthly Meditations will meet at the COPE House in Eisenhower Park in East Meadow. Since space is limited please RSVP.
COPE hopes that all parents interested in meditation as an integral part of the healing process will attend these monthly get-togethers. Some months will include guest speakers and healers. If you have any questions, please contact Lilly Julien at ljulien5@gmail.com.
Integrative Healing Workshop Series
TBA
Creative Writing Workshop
COPE House in Eisenhower Park
Wednesday, February 15th 6:30pm
Saturday, February 25th 2:00 pm
Please join COPE and Patty Rossi, published writer, to experience the power of the pen as a source of solace and comfort in the grieving process. These workshops will be devoted to writing and healing. Be part of this artistic venture. Come explore writing as a tool to console and soothe. The next evening workshop will be held on Wednesday, February 15th, from 6:30-8:00 pm, and the next daytime workshop will be held on Saturday, February 25th from 2:00-3:30 pm.
The Creative Writing Workshop will now be offered monthly, on the third Wednesday of the month and on the 4th Saturday of the month.
Please RSVP to Patty Rossi at pattyed1@verizon.net. For more information, email info@copefoundation.org.
Community Events
Please contact info@copefoundation.org with any community healing events to list in our newsletter.
COPE Individual Peer Support/Mentor
Sign up for Peer support or to be a Peer Mentor!
For those bereaved parents and siblings not ready for a support group, or who wish to augment their support group experience with individual support, COPE offers “peer mentor support.” If you are in need of a peer mentor (a parent or sibling who shares your particular loss), OR if you wish to act as a peer mentor to a newly bereaved parent or sibling, please email info@copefoundation.org. Peer support is truly at the heart of COPE!
Our Condolences
We at COPE are saddened to share the recent passing of our dear friend Dave Greenberg. Our hearts go out to Dave’s wife Patti, COPE co-founder, and their children, Benji, Marne, and Robby. Dave was a wonderful photographer and took pictures at many of our COPE Walks. He will be sorely missed.
Donations can be made in his memory to COPE
PO Box 1251 Melville, NY 11747
COPE Donations
We thank the following people for making donations to COPE during the months of (late) December and January:
General Donations:
Sondra & Kenneth Wolfson
Nancy Gallagher in memory of Katie Gallagher
Mary Goldner
Kerri & Stuart Benson in memory of Dave Greenberg
Vivian Delman in memory of Jonathan Daniel Roth
Nancy & Jerome Radelman in memory of Dave Greenberg
Gloria & Paul Eliot in memory of Phillip Mark Eliot
Bonny & Marvin Rosen in memory of Dave Greenberg
Randy & Michael Corpuel
Jason Provus in memory of Adam Oberlander
Denise Henderson in memory of Amanda
Keith Rieger in memory of Stefanie Rose Rieger
Harvey & Marianne Bernstein in memory of Dave Greenberg
Carol Levine in memory of Dave Greenberg
Stephanie & Andrew Javorsky in memory of Dave Greenberg
Patricia Geyer
Myrna & Stewart Yaker
Melanie & Larry Mergentime in honor of Sammi’s Circle Charitable Fund
Liz Barbera in memory of Jay Jimenez
Einsidler Management Inc. in memory of Jonathan Roth
Dara Barad in memory of Dave Greenberg
Association of Fundraising Professionals
Michael Weinstein in memory of Dave Greenberg
Stephanie and Andrew Javorsky in memory of Dave Greenberg
Charles Silberman in memory of Lori Ellis
Greer & Billy Slovin in memory of Dave Greenberg
David Madover in memory of Dave Greenberg
Madeline Aron in memory of Dave Greenberg
Robin & Josh Feldman in memory of Dave Greenberg
Bruce & Jackie Logue in memory of Dave Greenberg
Chris & Barbara Holland in memory of Debbie Steelman
Martin’s New Shops Management Inc.
Roberta Schoenbrun
Sam & Barbara Malkin in memory of Dave Greenberg
Esther Bogin in memory of Heath Bogin
Camp Erin:
The Bernard and Ruth Rothfeld Children’s Foundation
The Welles Remy Crowther Charitable Trust
Mark L. Kramer
Pamela Posen Memorial Fund Inc.
Richard & Lydia Simonetti
Edward & Ann Keim in honor of Jerry Manton’s 80th birthday
If you no longer wish to receive these newsletters, please email info@copefoundation.org.
COPE Foundation
Eisenhower Park
Lannin Carriage House, East Meadow, NY 11554
Tel: (516) 832-2673
Email: info@copefoundation.org