Lilly’s Inspirational Thoughts – January 2021

Dec 30, 2020 | COPE Contributors

Dear COPE families,

For as long as my daughter is gone, the New Year has been associated with January, the month that Michelle passed.

One thing I know, after 29 years, I’ve had to learn to think differently.

After quite some time, I recently dreamt of my daughter and felt her with me. 

While I was having a conversation with two strangers, she left and I couldn’t find her. I woke feeling so distraught at the loss of the little time I had with her, as though I could have controlled my dream. 

I went from my bed to an online yoga class and during this meditative session, my dream began to unfold. Things aren’t always as they appear. 

My daughter didn’t go anywhere; I still felt her with me doing yoga. The message and communication of my dream was subtle. She had appeared to me as she would have if she was here — speaking about her summer plans, where she might work, walking the dog. 

In the dream I couldn’t find her. She was lost to me. I could no longer see her. What was hidden began to reveal itself. She’s here with me even when I don’t always notice. She can be around me even if I’m feeling anxious or confused.

Before I had this dream, she was feeling very distant and I found myself questioning whether she was within reach. 

The message of my dream and meditation was a gift and reaffirmed my responsibility to myself: to nurture myself and my relationship with my daughter, as I have been doing for the last 29 years that she is in spirit.
Holding on.
Finding my way through this journey of grief.
Embracing life. 
Feeling gratitude.

May it be a New Year of Health for us all. A New Year of Hope and New Perspectives.