Lilly’s Inspirational Thoughts – January 2021

December 30, 2020

Dear COPE families,

For as long as my daughter is gone, the New Year has been associated with January, the month that Michelle passed.

One thing I know, after 29 years, I’ve had to learn to think differently.

After quite some time, I recently dreamt of my daughter and felt her with me. 

While I was having a conversation with two strangers, she left and I couldn’t find her. I woke feeling so distraught at the loss of the little time I had with her, as though I could have controlled my dream. 

I went from my bed to an online yoga class and during this meditative session, my dream began to unfold. Things aren’t always as they appear. 

My daughter didn’t go anywhere; I still felt her with me doing yoga. The message and communication of my dream was subtle. She had appeared to me as she would have if she was here — speaking about her summer plans, where she might work, walking the dog. 

In the dream I couldn’t find her. She was lost to me. I could no longer see her. What was hidden began to reveal itself. She’s here with me even when I don’t always notice. She can be around me even if I’m feeling anxious or confused.

Before I had this dream, she was feeling very distant and I found myself questioning whether she was within reach. 

The message of my dream and meditation was a gift and reaffirmed my responsibility to myself: to nurture myself and my relationship with my daughter, as I have been doing for the last 29 years that she is in spirit.
Holding on.
Finding my way through this journey of grief.
Embracing life. 
Feeling gratitude.

May it be a New Year of Health for us all. A New Year of Hope and New Perspectives.


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